Archive of Our Own

…Troublemaker, where you off to now?

I can tell you this ain’t working out

for anyone!

Frisk throws! Themself across their room in-time with the song, cranked up loud loud loud, so loud they can feel it vibrating in their hands their heart their everything, sung in-time with the rise and fall of their chest. Music never really used to be a thing they could claim, what with the never-being-able-to-hear-good and nobody ever bothering to help so they were stuck with whatever happened to be loudest and come through, but now, now, oh NOW it’s a different story! Now they have their hearing aids, so they get lyrics—lyrics!! They understand the words now!!—and somehow even better for that mushy emotional part of them is Chara.

Ghost-soul-stuff means Chara doesn’t have their hearing loss ‘cept when xe’s in the body which is not often and so humming alongside their brain like a warm blanket Frisk hears Chara, singing in-time with the song and headspace-words are sort-of-words and sort-of-Sign and mostly all of it rolled together into feelings and vibes, and Frisk grins wide as they throw themself onto their bed, bouncing once-twice and leaping right back off when the song gets loud again!

“You always knew just how to piss me off!” Frisk scream-sings, and usually they don’t talk ‘cause it hurts and also the years years years of kids and adults alike telling them they don’t do it right, but here home finally nobody does that anymore, and in that month where they weren’t really around so much and it was just Chara xe spoke enough their voice doesn’t hurt much for them anymore. “Some people just don’t have a rock bottom! Well, I guess that’s you!”

They would climb their walls if they could, to FEEL IT, in the same sort of way Undyne still has them throw vegetables against the wall when they cook with her even if neither of them tell Momma about that part. Instead they bounce across the length of their room, push off the wall and vibrate the other way, laughing as they swap to signing out the words instead, big and wide as they can make it. “Troublemaker, where you off to now!”

Frisk, says Chara-inside, maybe, Frisk isn’t so sure ‘cause the song is STILL GOING, and okay so maybe this is loop number like fifty or something—they lost count and regulated that to Chara long ago—but they want to hear it again, again, AGAIN!! And as the song fades out it comes BACK, and they missed the first few lines but not this bit, and they sign along, bouncing on their feet, rocketing off their walls, “you swear nothin’s gonna happen, you’re invincible! Pedal to the metal down a dark dirt road!” and this is the bit of the song where even now with the hearing aids and Chara they can’t actually fully hear all the words, ‘cause they kind mesh together, but again they’ve heard the song so much they GET IT, now, know what they’re supposed to hear.

Up onto their bed again! Jump off so high and try to hit the ceiling with their hand! Trip over stuffed animals left on the floor! Chara says like Frisk again which isn’t singing, so Frisk says sing, Chara, ‘cause Chara’s voice is their favorite ever of all time forever. Nearly slam their head into the wall but the good sort, the sort that isn’t the world being too-much but instead overflowing with all the joy and delight and love of the world it has to bubble out somehow! Stumble right through their open door and crash into—

Wait when did their door open??

Frisk blinks, shakes, the music still rocking them right to their core, as they look up and see Momma staring right back at them, her mouth moving but it’s way too loud to pick that up and also the song is so loud Chara made them turn down their hearing aids anyways to not like Actually bust their ears literally forever, which would be kinda sad ‘cause now that they have music they aren’t gonna give that up so easily.

Blink blink blink, Frisk goes, and then, signing, “Mom?”

Momma says something. Frisk can sorta kinda read her lips but not entirely, so she signs, “turn down the music, my child?”

I was trying to tell you, says Chara inside, Mom has been knocking on the door. She wants to talk to you.

Oh, Frisk tells xir, shaking off the music fizzing all down their veins as they go to pause their phone plugged into their speaker. Without the music booming all inside its like all the air has been sucked out of the room, and Frisk ticks the volume of their hearing aids back to normal everyday life level. You coulda paused it!

I tried telling you. You were too caught up in the music.

Frisk giggles. Lost in the sauce! Chara doesn’t find it as funny as they do. Well if I’m not hearing you can just take my hands ‘n do it! I trust you.

Chara doesn’t respond, ‘cept to mentally nudge them back to Momma, and Frisk sticks out their tongue but pads over to her anyways, wraps their arms around her in a hug. Momma is the softest person they know ‘n one of their favorite people in the world right up there with Chara ‘n all their other friends, though Momma being Momma is special. With their face pressed against her fur they can feel the vibrations of her heart and her magic and whatever else it is that makes up monsters, stuff Chara knows more than they do so they don’t mind not knowing always.

Twisting just-enough that Momma can see their signing, Frisk asks, “why are you here?”

Momma pets their hair in that bubbly-making way of hers, like affection so sweet they can taste it in their mouth. Now without the music filling up every empty space they can actually hear her when she says, “I have some important news to share with you.”

“News?” Frisk hums against her, the little leftover bits of Song still bouncing around their brain. Chara nudges those bits sideways like listening, and Frisk giggles inside and mirrors Chara’s pose, making their face all intense-like.

“Well, as you might know,” Momma says, as she picks them up and goes to sit on their bed, and Frisk will do that ALWAYS, though they do scramble out of her arms to kinda-sorta fix their sheets so it doesn’t look like a hugemassive storm came rolling through throwing all their pillows and stuffed animals everywhere, even though them and the song sort of were that. Momma smiles at them and they beam back.

She continues saying, with Frisk mostly-hearing ‘cause hearing aids and the bits they miss running about filled in by Chara speak-signing back to them inside, “it has been about a year since monsters have returned to the surface.”

That stops Frisk right in their tracks, so fast their head throbs for a second with whiplash-says-Chara, giving them the words they don’t always know. Like whiplash! It’s a pound pound pound and Frisk blinks through the wooziness before turning to actually face Momma. Chara makes worried noises against the pain.

“A year?” they sign, and they believe Momma always but a YEAR? That’s an entire year!!! On the surface!!! With monsters!!! With Momma and Chara and all their friends and all monsters everywhere forever, and it’s been?? A year???

Does it feel like something else, Chara asks, as Frisk throws themselves at Momma in another hug ‘cause an entire year!!!!! and Frisk pauses hugging Momma long enough to squeeze their own hand like hugging Chara too.

I dunno!!! But a year!! They roll onto their back on their bed, staring up at their ceiling, at Momma leaning over to talk still, oh they should listen to her but a year!! They can’t get it out of their head!!

One entire year!!!!!

They tug at Momma’s sleeve and sign, “a year?”

Momma laughs. “Yes, my child. In a little over two weeks—sixteen days, to be exact—it will be our one year anniversary on the Surface.”

Frisk signs, “wow.” And repeats it a few times for good measure. “Wow wow wow.” And then, ‘cause Chara is wondering against them, “is that why you came in?”

“It is!” Momma says, and Frisk rolls over to clamber into her lap. “You know how I have been very busy with the legal side of our reintroduction, right? With all those meetings?”

Frisk nods. They know so well ‘cause it means sometimes Momma is out really late and has them stay over the night with their friends. Chara knows the legal stuff way better than they do even though they’re technically like an ambassador or as Chara says very amused like the world’s cutest mascot which makes them pout ‘cause no, they do important work too Chara!!!! Work like showing how monsters are good and amazing and everything wonderful ever.

But Momma said long ago—a year ago which is still WOW—that they’re a kid and so they don’t need to worry about the legal political whatever stuff. So Momma does all the meetings with Asgore too and Frisk is sorta-kinda ambassador and maybe a little bit of a mascot and also royalty ‘cause of Momma being Queen which makes them a prince—princess—

If there is a gender-neutral term, I never knew it, Chara says, answering them before they can even start thinking their question. I just used ‘Prince,’ to match with Asriel. I never cared enough to go searching. Though I suppose you can always just make one up.

I’ll ask Flowey! Frisk decides, nodding, and Chara huffs xir Flowey-huff which is like half he’s so annoying and half the sound cats make when they hit each other, which means friendship-kinda, Frisk thinks. They’ve watched Alphys’s cats go smack smack smack and then get right back to cuddling each other in their cat beds. I know he’s not really a prince anymore but he might know!

Mom is still talking, says Chara, and Frisk blinks OH RIGHT OOPS and looks back to her. Chara says, you did not miss anything of import. She simply explained that now monsters are able to leave our territories. The various treaties and legal documents were finally signed.

Like the mountain? Frisk asks, ‘cause they know Mt. Ebott belongs to the monsters now and some of the land around it that apparently the Underground was also under. Now that they think about it huh they haven’t left the mountain, and all the new monster buildings going up have ALSO been on the mountain.

Momma’s saying, and Frisk pretends like they totally were listening 100% the entire time and not talking to Chara about other things, “…and that is all a very complicated way of saying that now that we monsters can leave, and with it so soon being a year since our freedom, a…celebration, of sorts, has been proposed.”

Frisk perks up. “Big party?”

“Not…entirely.” Momma tilts her head. “There is so much Surface that so many monsters have never seen, being born and raised entirely Underground. And now that we are no longer contained, we—myself and Asgore, as well as several other monsters we have spoken to—have thought that perhaps the best way to celebrate this would be for monsterkind to leave the mountain, for a while. See everything that has been kept from us for so long.”

Chara goes tense-kinda in their mind. But Frisk only sort of notices ‘cause they’re putting Momma’s words together, and jumping up to their feet, and shrieking, ‘cause they got practice from all the singing, “ROAD TRIP??”

Momma laughs. “Yes, Frisk. Sort of like a very big road trip.”

Frisk shriek-shouts again, “road trip!” as they tumble over to turn their music back on, to FEEL IT, and they’ve never done road trips before but they’ve watched movies, and they wanna see EVERYTHING, like the ocean and the edges of the world and all those places they’ve never-ever been and now that they’re here and home and they can DO THAT, with ALL THEIR FRIENDS, and they have to tell everyone about this right now, have to find Flowey ‘cause he does his own thing and what if he doesn’t hear about this? Momma’s beaming at them and Frisk is bouncing around their room in dance, and the song is POUNDING in their VEINS and they’re yelling along, trou! ble! maker! Where you off to now! and that’s gonna be THEM!!! All the way around the world, and it’s gonna be GREAT!!!!

So the Great Grand Super Cool Monster Road Trip, as Frisk likes to call it, or Anniversary Celebration, which is what Asgore calls it but that’s way more boring and lame compared to Frisk’s version, is gonna work like this.

It’s a big super cool road trip but there are a lot of monsters, even if a lot of monsters is still way less monsters than humans. So everyone can’t just fit in one car ‘cause nobody makes cars that big, and also some monsters can fly or swim and there’s so many places on the surface, and everybody wants to go see all different sorts of places! So instead of one big car it’s like many small cars, where everyone kinda goes when they want but there are places where everyone is gonna try to meet up, like at a specific beach to see the ocean, and the big wide grand sweeping expanses of forests and redwood trees way on the other side of the country that are older even than Momma maybe, and the desert inbetween and like so many places, Frisk can’t keep them all straight in their head.

They want to see the world, says Chara, though we cannot actually leave the confines of the United States, yet, I do not think. You’d have to ask Mother or Father.

You do it! Frisk sticks their tongue out, outside-right-now with a whole bunch of other monsters all excited and milling about and figuring out travel plans, like who is gonna fly places and if they can carry people, and what about the monsters who swim and breathe underwater and wanna follow the rivers and coastlines, and where they’re gonna get the cars and the energy to make the cars go and all the sort of stuff Frisk doesn’t need to worry about ‘cause all they know is they’re gonna go with Momma wherever they want!!! Which is lots of driving but Momma’s car is big so they think it’ll be okay.

Chara says nothing back to them, so Frisk skips off to go run around Papyrus’s shiny red convertible he’s so excited about, and also Sans’s tricycle he’s trying to say will be enough to get him the many many hours all across everywhere, and Frisk giggles and steals it when Sans isn’t looking, and rides it up and down the street to listen to the chatter of everyone.

Like the family of Moldsmols who are gonna go on the main path with Asgore, who’s gonna lead a huge group of all the monsters who are kinda scared-still and wanna stick together for safety. And the living rocks that really want to be able to ride on top of the cars but dunno how to not fall off yet. And the Final Froggit that has learned so much about cars and is wanting to help Alphys with science-stuff on how to make the cars better for the environment. And the group of water-breathing monsters looking over river-maps to plot out their course. And the Dog Guards who wanna meet sled dogs who are dogs that do road trips too or so they say, who pull sleds across snow and go fast fast fast, though the Dog Guards aren’t sure how to get there. Endogeny vibrates very excited and warbles a howl Frisk feels in their very soul, which means they think that Endogeny will Make This Happen.

And then there’s Monster Kid they run into and ditch the tricycle then to run around with them, and chatter back-and-forth about their plans, ‘cause Monster Kid and their family are going on the big path with Asgore, but Frisk isn’t, ‘n they sign while giggling “I think ‘cause Momma doesn’t wanna be stuck with Asgore for so long.”

“Yo, that’s fair,” Monster Kid says, “just make sure you meet up with us sometimes! Your mom knows about all the big meet-up days, right? ‘cause it won’t be fun without you!”

Frisk nods nods nods. “Yeah! She does. We’re gonna go the day after you I think.” They think Chara and Chara reminds them that Momma’s staying to make sure everything is figured out with the school, and who will be teaching in her place for the monsters who want to stay behind. “And no matter what we’ll be back here for!!! The anniversary!!! One year!!!”

“One YEAR!” Monster Kid yells back at them, and together they giggle and thread their way through groups of monsters and then run into Sans and sheepishly tell him they dunno where they ditched his tricycle, before darting off again.

The big acumu—cumulation—culmination-says-Chara—on the actual day monsters were freed is when everyone meets back up at Mt. Ebott for an actual really big party, but a party down from the highest peak of their mountain like we DID IT, like WE’RE FREE NOW, back here to meet up again with anyone who stayed behind and share stories and memories and Frisk can’t wait, racing Monster Kid to the playground near the school and claiming one of the swings, kicking back-forth as they watch a bunch of other kids run around all excited too.

What do you wanna see the most? Frisk asks Chara when Monster Kid goes off to play with the other kids ‘n Frisk promises to join soon too. Momma said there’s a whole lot of stars in the desert!! Like here!!! But I wanna see if they look different ‘cause that’s so far.

Perhaps, Milkweed, is what Chara says, and hearing Chara’s special nickname for them Frisk squeals and wraps their arms around themself, wanting to hug Chara so bad it hurts a little bit, but this is as close as they can get. Chara continues, I’m not sure. What else do you want to see?

All of it!! But Frisk tilts their head. The super old trees sound cool!!! Like Momma! And also all the—the—the big cool natural things. Like the song!

I suppose we might see the Grand Canyon, thinks Chara in that kinda-deep way xe does. It should be on the way, at least. Mom wouldn’t mind stopping, for you.

I wanna see the WORLD, Frisk declares, as they leap off the swing and run tumbling into the mess of other kids, I wanna see it all with you!

They knew they were gonna leave after everyone but STILL the day comes where the biggest group is setting out and Frisk is visited by all their friends before they go, Momma saying they can go say see you later so Frisk does just that, is scooped up by Undyne and set on her shoulders where they can see so many monsters all gathering their things and fitting into cars. They wave from up high to Monster Kid and then pat Undyne’s head.

She looks up at them as they sign, “what car are you going in?”

“Asgore’s!” Undyne gestures to it across the street, a whole entire bus the monsters bought and transferred to what’s called green energy with Alphys’s help and everyone else decorated it, like right there! Frisk drew the sun right above one of the wheels! And also Monster Kid along the side, since they drew Frisk themself! “Gotta help him keep everyone in line! And also Papyrus wouldn’t let me drive his convertible.”

“I AM VERY SCARED YOU WOULD CRASH IT!” Papyrus calls from where he’s lovingly patting his car, which has been decked out with Cool Guy Shades, aka Frisk cut out the shape of sunglasses from some huge sheets of black construction paper during arts and crafts and Papyrus taped it to his car. “I AM LIKE A FATHER NOW, UNDYNE. YOU WOULD KILL MY CHILD.”

“I would NOT!” Undyne yells back, shaking her fist, and Frisk giggles perched on her shoulders, squirming to be let down. Undyne does so, and they tug on her arm.

They sign, “what about Sans? Is he going with Papyrus?”

“He’s not going at all!” Undyne claps her hands together. “The lazy bastard. Just says he’ll be ‘shortcutting’ everywhere, and refuses to explain at all.”

Alphys, wandering over without the two cat-carriers she had last Frisk saw her, which means the cats must be settled with whoever is watching them during the trip, says, “he’s, uh, been practicing teleporting into cars a lot. I think that’s his plan.”

That seems dangerous, Chara comments, and Frisk can feel the pretend furrow of xir brow, and so does it as well to match. What if he scares the driver and they get into a crash? Cars are rather deadly.

But Chara doesn’t say it out loud even though Frisk thinks Chara is smart smart smart and should say things xe thinks more often, so they sign, “what about crashes?” Which they hope is close enough to what Chara wanted.

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Alphys throws up her hands. “I’m like, Sans, how will you know when the cars are parked? And he just says he has his ways. What ways, Sans! You can’t read minds! Unless you’ve been lying about not being able to do that for our entire friendship!”

A Sans that can read minds. How terrifying.

Frisk snort-giggles back, then maybe you could talk to someone else!

Chara falls quiet and Frisk pouts, but is quickly dragged out of it by Alphys cutting herself off mid-rant and saying, “gah! I don’t even care! Why am I still talking about this?”

“Yeah! That’s right!” Undyne grabs both Alphys and Frisk by the hands and drags them closer to the bus. “Enough about Sans! He’ll do his own thing whether we want him to or not, and unless he can get me a spot on Papyrus’s convertible, I don’t care!”

From the distance, Papyrus yells, “I WON’T LET YOU CRASH THIS CAR, UNDYNE.”

“I’ll wear you down soon enough!” Undyne responds, and then, to them, dropping their hands, “let’s talk about something more important: I’ve decided that I’m going to swim across the OCEAN!”

Frisk’s eyes blow wide, and they shriek wordless excitement at her. With Undyne it’s always really easy to be loud loud loud and nobody ever tells them to be quiet and shut up but instead they can just BE! THEMSELF!!! And Chara thinks sad-thoughts but Frisk tells xir it’s good now and shrieks a bit more.

“I, um, don’t think you can?” Alphys pipes up from her other side, worrying her claws together. “The ocean is…really big. And you’d still be out in the middle of it when we have to come back to celebrate the barrier being broken.”

Undyne tilts her head. “Well then, I’ll just have to do it next time!”

Alphys giggles. Her giggles always sound nervous-scared but she’s told them a lot that she isn’t actually nervous-scared so much anymore, especially when around friends, and also she’s blushing so this is the good kind of giggle. “Well, I’ll be cheering you on!”

“Yeah you will!” Undyne leans down to smooch Alphys and Frisk claps and cheers. They love love!!!! Chara smiles fond at them, and fondness inside is like a warm hug and Frisk basks in that, at least until Undyne nudges them and so they should also listen to her now.

“Alright, you little punk,” Undyne says, staring at a group of Temmies trying to move their luggage into the bottom of the bus but only succeeding in vibrating through it. “Go say goodbye to everyone else! I should…probably help with that.”

“We’ll see you at the beach!” Alphys says, waving, and Frisk waves back as they trot off to make their final rounds. So many friends to say goodbye-see-you-later to! And they say it to EVERYONE!!! Until the very last monster has set off down the mountain and into the world, and Chara says, into the unknown, huh.

Yeah!!! Frisk skips as they head back home. It’s so exciting!!!! And then they pause, ‘cause—hey wait there’s one monster they never said goodbye to!!!

Is there? Chara hums. I’ve been keeping track; you found everyone. Unless you count the monsters who left earlier, of course, but you said goodbye to them on those days—

No!! Frisk waves their hands around as they scan the street. Flowey!!! I never said bye to Flowey!!! I dunno when he’s even leaving! They drop down at the nearest patch of flowers, pawing through them.

I do not think he is hiding in the chrysanthemums, Milkweed, Chara says. I doubt he is going at all. He is…not that sort of person.

But he’d want to!!! Frisk glares at the dumb flowers for keeping Flowey from them, and rushes off to search the next patch. Chara!!! We need to invite him with us and Momma!!!

If Chara says something in response it’s vague enough they can’t pick it out, and besides Frisk is busy!!! They have a Plan!!!! Capital-P plan and everything!!!

But Flowey is not cooperating with the part of the plan where they find him—!

It takes forever and ever and EVER for Frisk to find him, and it means they gotta ignore Momma’s texts telling them to come home, and keep ignoring them when their phone keeps buzzing, until they just turn it off despite the disappointment they can feel from Chara, like you should tell her where you are, but!! But Flowey wouldn’t want them to tell!!! And so they gotta keep their promise to him even if it’ll make Momma worried for a bit. They’ll come back!!!

Frisk, he is not worth it, Chara says, in that serious tone of xirs. But if Chara wanted to call Momma Chara can call Momma, so Frisk ignores xir and keeps climbing, up up up up until finally, FINALLY, all the way at the end of the path, where the barrier was broken nearly a year ago, they find Flowey, sprouted near it and not moving, ‘til they come crashing through the brush and he starts.

“Oh.” His vines, which had manifested all thick with red thorns, crash back into the dirt and break apart into magic. “It’s just you.”

“Hi Flowey!” Frisk grins as they scamper over to him. Before hearing aids it was always kinda hard to hear Flowey, ‘cause something about his voice did Not agree with what they COULD hear, and also leaves and petals means he can’t sign so well like them. So mostly they needed Chara to translate. But he’s better at Chara what’s the word—enunciating—so now it’s not a problem usually!! Unless their batteries die which happens a lot, cause their batteries are dumb and stupid and even Alphys can’t always make them last longer. They got a lot of dead hearing aid batteries in their pockets. Sometimes they draw faces on them with sharpies!

Flowey pokes them twice with a leaf which is Flowey-sign for did you hear what I said, and Frisk shakes their head. Inside Chara does the thing that’s like a faint twisting in their gut that means xe didn’t catch it either. Oops! But Flowey doesn’t sigh or complain at them, just repeats it probably, and asks, “why are you here?”

“Cause!” Frisk claps their hands together, bounces a bit. Flowey watches, and his head bobs up-down kinda when he watches them, which is silly. Chara says Mother is still trying to contact you, and Frisk says but I turned off my phone, and Chara gets kinda huffy like I meant that you should hurry up, but, uh, if xe meant that say that? Chara is silly like that sometimes but Frisk still loves xir and so turns their attention back to Flowey. “Okay so you know the monster road trip?”

“You mean the only thing anybody has been talking about for the past few days?” Flowey rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you could say I’ve heard of it. Annoying as all hell. At least up here it’s quiet.”

Oh good! He knows so they don’t gotta explain it all, so Frisk jumps right into their main reason for being here: “Flowey I’m inviting you!!”

“Inviting?” His petals scrunch up. “To do what? I’m not house-sitting for you. You could not pay me enough.”

“No!!!” Frisk laughs. “To come with us!!! On the road trip!!! Momma has a car that could fit you and we’re gonna see!!! So many places!! And!” They cut in before Flowey can say what they think he’s gonna say, like I don’t want Toriel to know about me, “you don’t need to tell Momma who you are!! I can just say you’re my friend who wants to come. I have a lot of friends!!”

“That’s great and all, but I don’t want to go.” Flowey shrugs, which means he sort of just twitches his leaves like they’re shoulders. “You go out on your grand adventure or whatever. I’m staying right here.

Great, says Chara, you asked him. Can you please go back home before you worry Mom any more?

“No!!!” Frisk says, aloud, to them both, and then returns to sign ‘cause they do like it more. “I’m not leaving until you agree to come.”

They sit down cross-legged right next to Flowey. He pushes at them. They don’t move.

“Frisk. What is this.”

“You’re gonna come with us!”

“No. I’m not.” Flowey rolls his eyes, turning back to watch the space where the barrier once stood. If Frisk goes cross-eyed until they feel dizzy it’s like they can almost see it, again, the wobbly sheen of magic, but that barrier is easy to break by just shaking themself. “Don’t stick around for my sake.”

“Not gonna! ‘cause you’re gonna come!” Frisk whaps him in the face and Flowey screws up his face and fires a bullet right back at them, but it’s slow and Frisk dodges easy, flopping on their back next to him. “Flowey!!! C’mon c’mon c’mon!!!”

Flowey won’t look at them and it’s!! Kinda!!! Annoying!!! They glare at him as he says, “and what does Chara think of this?”

Flowey’s the only one who knows Chara is around, mostly ‘cause Frisk is always forever wanting to talk to people about Chara and it’s only with Flowey that Chara gets kinda distant-enough xe can’t remind Frisk not to mention xir. Which was kinda heavy-bad when they first did it on accident. Chara got all cold and sharp and it made Frisk’s mind real real fuzzy and they still don’t really remember so well what happened that month. But when they came back and the world was color and warmth and taste again Chara and Flowey didn’t yell so much at each other, and just slapped at each other like two cats. So Frisk thinks they worked it out.

“Chara agrees with me and thinks you are a dummy.”

I do not at all agree with you, Chara chides. Actually, I think you should text Mother back.

But if Chara wants them to do any of that stuff xe should just do it xirself, so Frisk!! Doesn’t move!! Won’t be moved!!! They’re determined!!!! And they want Flowey to come with them, so he! Is! Coming! With them!!

And they know for a FACT they can sit here longer than anybody ever. Not sit still, but sit in the same general area or wander the same sort of area and that’s better anyways. If Flowey wants to stare at the once-barrier he can, until he goes cross-eyed and his eyes ache and Frisk is here still, and not bored at ALL! They busy themself with watching the ladybugs buzz about, colorful beetles crawl through the dirt, birds chirp and tweet from so far above them. Flowey keeps being dumb and boring next to them. Frisk grabs a stick and draws smiley faces and hearts and flowers in the dirt. They add a frowny face to one and label it Flowey.

“Okay, rude,” Flowey comments, and Frisk perks up—so he WAS paying attention to them!!!—and adds angry eye-lines to their Flowey-picture. And then stink lines ‘cause he stinks right now. And then a bird trying to eat him and then a stick-figure them pointing at him and laughing ‘cause they’re gonna have so much fun on their road trip and he’s being a big dummy not coming and then—

“Oh, for the love of—” Flowey grabs their stick and hurls it down the mountain. Frisk watches it crash through bracken and bramble ‘til it’s gone again. Chara does the thing in their head where it feels like xe’s twisting xir hands together and trying to walk away even though Frisk’s legs never actually move. “Do you really want me to go this badly?”

Frisk nods so hard their neck cracks. “Yes!” they sign. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Ye—”

Flowey puts up his leaves and Frisk pauses mid-sign, but the movement of their hand sort of just crashes into their knee.

“If you tell Toriel who I was,” Flowey says, “I’ll kill you all.”

Frisk nods okay okay okay. They don’t really believe that Flowey will—‘cause they KNOW he likes the sun same as they do, and they’ve caught him sunbathing a lot of times—but they’ll pretend like they’re scared of him still if that means he comes with them.

“And I reserve the right to ditch whenever I want to,” Flowey continues, “and when we get back, you leave me alone for three months.”

“A month!” Frisk counters.

“Two months.”

“Month and a half!”

Oh, for the love of—

“Fine,” Flowey says, “a month and a half.”

Remind him that you are the only friend he has, Milkweed? I cannot believe he is trying this. What are you going to do, Asriel, stare at the barrier for a month and a half? You’d never have the patience for that.

“Chara says you can’t be patient for that long,” Frisk translates.

Flowey scowls. “Tell Chara xe can shove it. I am too that patient.”

Liar.

Frisk giggles. Like two cats smacking each other. If they weren’t sworn to secrecy about Chara living in their head they woulda told Alphys to name her cats after them.

“You can fight in the car!” they tell Flowey and Chara, standing up and brushing the dirt off their legs, holding out their arm for Flowey to crawl up and wrap around. “Flowey!! You’re coming with us!”

“Not for you,” Flowey mutters, “just to get you to stop bothering me for a while. Oh, watch out, there’s a branch right there.”

There is a—hey! Tell him I am the one narrating, here. What, will he take my nickname for you, next?

Frisk side-steps the branch, humming to themself, not really any song in particularly, just the melody-beat of it, something worn into their soul.

Milkweed, you might have to strangle Flowey. For me.

Frisk grins into their hummed song. Chara is warm against their brain and Flowey’s a comfortable weight around their arm, and they! Are going! To have so much fun!! On this ROAD TRIP!!!

“Frisk!” Momma’s rushing over to them the second they enter the house, fretting and worrying so much it kinda makes something inside of them crawl, ‘cause so maybe it’s been a year technically but sometimes still it feels like this is all just something they dunno how to hold onto long enough to make it real. But when the world gets fuzzy like this Chara says I am here, Milkweed, and they grab onto that ‘til it’s just sound they struggle to hear, not everything all the time forever.

“You’re covered in dirt! You were gone for hours, Frisk, where were you? I was scared you’d gotten swept up by everyone leaving!”

Frisk shakes their head and mumbles into Momma’s fur, “nuh-uh.” And then, signing, pressing their word against her, “barrier.”

“The—barrier? You went all the way up the mountain?” Momma looks down to them. “Why did you do that, my child? Why did you not let me know where you were going?”

Frisk shrugs. Didn’t wanna, but they also don’t wanna tell Momma that. So they stay quiet, but! Then! Remember! And scramble out of her arms signing wait wait wait, rushing back to the door that’s been left open in the rush, and find Flowey trying to leave but! They brought him here! So so so far! So they scoop him up and he yelps hey what no but they run back inside to where Momma is watching.

Frisk signs, “I went to get my friend! This is Flowey.” They loosen their grip on him enough that he can drag his way up to their shoulder, huffing as he smooths out his petals. “He’s gonna come with us!!! On the trip.”

“Flowey?” Momma studies him. “Have we met before?”

“No.” Flowey’s voice comes fast, pitched a bit deeper than it normally is. “Uh. No. Never met at all. I have no idea who you are.”

“She’s the Queen of Monsters!” Frisk giggles. Flowey goes hot against them.

“I knew that,” he mutters. “But. Uh. Yeah. What Frisk said. I’m…here for the road trip.”

For a long moment Momma just stares. Frisk grins wider. Flowey tries to hide in their hair which mostly just gets more dirt there. Frisk is pretty sure Momma’s gonna make them take a bath before bed tonight and maybe they’ll drag Flowey in with them ‘cause it’ll be nice to talk to him more.

But then Momma says, “well…alright. If you want to come along, Flowey, there will be room in the car for you.”

“…great,” Flowey mutters, and then, when Frisk pokes him, “uh, or. Thanks. Or whatever.”

Okay, Chara says, a bit later that night, when they’re getting ready for bed, maybe this was an alright idea, Milkweed. If nothing else, Flowey’s discomfort will be amusing. It’ll be nice to know I’m not the only one.

Chara!!! But Frisk is laughing, and before they know it, it’s morning, and they’re piling into the car, and leaning into the front to plug their phone into the car stereo, and Flowey is growling at the seat belt as Momma tries to figure out how a flower is supposed to buckle in. It’s gonna be so much fun!!!

They turn the volume way way way way way up until Momma tells them to stop, kicking their feet against the back of the seat as the song kicks in, vibrating all the way to their bones, to their SOUL, red-bright in their chest. Flowey mutters something about their music being stupid but they know he’s wrong so they ignore him, the music the world, it’s time to come on out! There will be no sign from above! Only hear the knock knock knock of your own heart, a signal!

Momma peels down the twisty skinny road of Mt. Ebott, to the world that stretches out around them, the world they’re gonna SEE, them and Momma and Chara and Flowey, all their favorite people together.

Come out, and level up!

So the first thing Frisk learns is that they live in a TON of mountains.

The Appalachian Mountains, Chara says, when Frisk’s got their hands and face pressed against the car window, to stare out across the way the land falls away just beyond the road. Everything is green and growing and the trees down-there are so small like ants but also if they twist their head up and back and lean over to look out Flowey’s window they can see the trees UP ABOVE, like giants waving down to them. More specifically, Blue Ridge. That’s where we are now, remember? The Blue Ridge Parkway. Mother said we’ll drive it for a while before turning off to head towards the coastline.

Flowey, at the same time Chara is talking but in a voice that’s all grumbly, says, “these mountains are stupid. When do we get out of them?”

“Flowey!!” Frisk swats at his face with a hand, and he splutters, recoiling away from them. “It’s pretty!! Look!” They gesture out to the EVERYTHING outside the car window, ‘cause like—this, THIS, look at this!!! They don’t think they could ever get tired of it, of the trees all blooming and the way mountains rise and fall in the distance, hazy blue shapes.

Momma drives careful up here. She’s told them mountain roads can be dangerous even through the beauty which Frisk gets, ‘cause it’s like the Underground sorta, like the face-meltingly hot lava but how up safe on the walkways of Hotland they could lean against the railing and just look out and SEE, except down there seeing would always end with cave walls and here there’s nothing of the sort. Just trees and mountains and sky and the WORLD.

They’ve never been so good at sitting still, and road trips as it turns out aren’t any easier, but Momma’s good about pulling over when they need to ‘n along the road anyways are places where you’re supposed to do just that, and Frisk can tumble out of the car with Flowey wrapping around their arm ‘cause they don’t want him to burrow off somewhere they can’t follow elsewise, right to the edge of the lookout points. The air is cold against them, stings at their eyes kinda, ‘n they squint against the sun blaring through fluffy clouds.

Milkweed, Mom is talking to you.

Oh oops, Frisk thinks, and looks to see her coming up alongside them. Without the car running means no music from THAT, but back when hearing aids were a new thing Alphys showed them how to get their phone to connect to them so they can blast music right in their ears. So they twist that down ‘til it’s off and catch the tail-end of Momma’s sign to them, which oops again ‘cause that they coulda seen when music-listening, but there’s just so much MOVEMENT here it’s kinda hard to look at just one thing.

So many birds flitting everywhere!! The wind like WOW, and the trees and their branches and leaves stretching, and Flowey who is tugged by the wind too. And the world beyond, so much more world than they think they’ve ever really seen on Mt. Ebott, and oh wait Momma’s still talking to them.

Chara says, she is just asking what you think. She does not mind. You not answering is answer enough, I think.

Okay good!! But still Frisk signs without taking their eyes off the world before them, “it’s super cool!” Which isn’t really how they feel ‘cause how they feel is this thing warm and bubbling inside of them, but how do they describe that with words? Words don’t EXIST!!! So they flap their hands and squeal out across the mountains and when they lean into Momma they can feel the rise and fall of her, the vibrations of her voice even if they sorta can’t hear her ‘cause they maybe accidentally turned the entire hearing aid off fully when they stopped their music. Or no that might be a battery dying.

But they don’t fix it right away. They jump up onto the rocky wall separating them from the mountain that falls away beneath them, and sit down right there with their legs kicking back-and-forth. Chara makes worried-scared noises in the back of their brain. Flowey slithers down off their arm and into the dirt, but he doesn’t burrow away so they let him do that.

So so so much world out there. So many trees maybe as old as Momma. So many birds and their families. Deer and foxes and coyotes and everything else that lives in forests out there too, even if they can’t see them now. A hawk soars far up above the mountains, circling around. The far-off mountains are blue like someone painted them onto the world, but they’re REAL. Can they see Mt. Ebott from here?

They twist to Momma and sign batteries dead when gesturing to their hearing aids, and then continue to ask her, “where’s our mountain?”

“Ebott?” Momma signs back. Frisk nods. She comes to sit next to them, and they tilt sideways against her, burrowed against her side. Momma’s soft and warm always forever, and even her clothes never bother them. They aren’t sure if that’s a Momma power or if she’s just really good at knowing what fabrics are good and what fabrics are like literally dying. They watch her as she signs. “Well, we did come from far over there.” She points to the mountains across from them. “It could possibly be one of those! Though I would not know which one. We’ve come very far in only one day!”

They think Flowey says something, cause Momma looks his direction. But Frisk doesn’t really mind if they dunno what it is. Instead they study all the little mountains so far away. Which one has been their home for doesn’t-feel-like-a-year? They should know it, they think, like something deep inside their own bones, in their soul. Like home home home, ‘n they always know how to return.

Chara? Do you know which one it is?

I think… Chara’s voice goes distant. In their hand Frisk feels a tremble-twitch that isn’t theirs, but it fades away before they can even start to hold their breath and cheer Chara on. I do not know, Milkweed. But I think Mother is right. I think it is one of the ones…so far away…

Wow, says Frisk. The circling hawk dips and dives. Below them a squirrel leaps from one tree to another and the branches bend with the force of its jump. Flowey drags his way up onto the stone wall and Frisk pats his petals, and this time he doesn’t try to shove their hand away.

When Frisk flips their music back on it’s only coming in through one ear, so, yeah, dead battery for sure. But they don’t get up. Not yet. Just listen to the music in half their ear, an quieter one Chara must’ve put on there. They have no idea what the lady is sing-saying and there’s an unfamiliarity to it that crawls kinda into them, like itch itch itch, a song they can’t feel in their soul. They hear it only through Chara who hums along, the song left echoing-kinda in their head, it’s all the good that won’t come out of me; and all the stupid lies I hide behind…

Chara says, you can skip it if you want, Milkweed. You have a playlist that is just your own music, do you not? How about you put that one on?

Frisk hugs their arms around themself. Shivers a bit in the chilly wind.

Nah, they say, we can hear this one.

They’re gonna get back on the road soon they think, gonna get up and run around in circles a bit ‘til their legs aren’t sore anymore, ‘n eventually end up at stop one which Momma’s said will be a hotel.

But here they have blue mountains and a hawk so far above. A world like they’ve never seen before.

The song plays on. Chara’s thought-voice echoes it in their own head, the impression of music: it’s such a big mistake…lying here, in your warm embrace…

The first bit of trip ends with the beach, which comes into view for Frisk from nothing-at-all to everything-all-at-once. One second they’re poking at Flowey so he can ask Momma how close they are when she can’t always look back to see what they sign ‘cause road safety or something, the next second they’re climbing up a hill so high Frisk can’t see the road on the other side, like the entire world falls away and there’s just the sky so wide. The sky towers but doesn’t crush, big grand clouds they maybe learned the names of in human-school so long ago but they dunno that anymore, just wide and sprawling, and it makes their heart catch in their chest, their soul thrum with something real and sharp and bright.

Chara!!!! CHARA!!! they chirp inside to Chara, who’s been real quiet since they turned away from the mountains. Though the song playing now is about mountains, another Chara-song they think, but there’s enough music happening that they like it too. We’re at the edge of the world!!

Chara laughs, which is less a sound and more like a hug but around their soul and Frisk squeaks and hugs back, wrapping their arms around themself. They do accidentally hit Flowey a little in the face—uh oh oops—but he doesn’t even seem to notice ‘cause he’s having a lot of fun saying are we there yet over and over again, like the words are stuck in his soul but the good sort of stuck.

It looks like that, does it not? Chara muses, as Frisk cranes their head to get a better look out through the front of the car, kicking at the seat in front of them ‘cause they’re probably strong enough to move it. Momma’s saying something to Flowey and the song is saying I love you, I love you, oh brother of mine, which isn’t the right genders but Frisk FEELS IT, feels it like they feel their songs too, so loud and booming always. They wanna grab everyone here and never ever let go!!! They wanna throw themself right over the edge of the world just to TASTE IT!!!

The road falls away. Momma’s car crests the hill with Frisk inside and then there’s the OCEAN, wide and blue as the road levels out and Frisk’s breath catches in their throat, cause it IS the end of the world, right there right in front of them, here here here, and even Flowey stops his repeating to crawl up on their shoulder with his petaled face right next to theirs.

Wow, Frisk signs, or says, or maybe just feels so loud it’s like surely everybody else knows it too. Even Chara’s gone hushed in their mind, ‘cause xe’s never seen the ocean ever either Frisk knows, ‘cause xe doesn’t say it but xe’s thinking it in the spot where it bleeds over into Frisk.

That is… Chara’s thought-voice trails off. Frisk can feel xir right up against their eyes, their soul, and their fingers twitch as they reach over to squeeze their own hand like here here here, repeated, again. The song gets louder louder louder, like a heartbeat maybe, like the stutter-stop of Frisk’s hands trying to know how they’re supposed to express anything here. And the words still aren’t fully right where Chara think-sings them like xe always does, in the quivering forest, where the shivering dog rests, our good grandfather, built a wooden nest, but they’re THERE, in this moment, and that’s enough-maybe, and finally through it all Frisk is able to twist away and sign, poking Flowey by a prompt from Chara in case Momma can’t see them in the rear-view mirror.

They sign, “we made it.”

Momma smiles at them. If they look where Chara says they can see her grin in the mirror, ‘n maybe through that she can see them too, even if she has to keep watching the road.

“Yes,” Momma says, “we did. Frisk, Flowey, can you believe it? We are here.”

The beach is everything forever and ever and even MORE.

Frisk’s never seen so many monsters in one place before which is weird ‘cause they live with all the monsters but Ebott isn’t the beach and the beach is like look at them all!!!!! Frisk runs between groups of all their friends and everything is loud and happy and there’s so many things HAPPENING!!! They cheer on all the dog-guards playing volleyball, even if they mostly just chase the ball around! They help Papyrus build a grand sand castle and then take shelter in it when Undyne comes to wrestle him! They cover Sans with sand where he’s dozing in the sun ‘til Momma comes and tells them that maybe they should stop before Sans is entirely buried! They join in with Monster Kid and all their other friends who are kids like them as they take over a section of the beach for a sand-ball fight, which is like a snowball fight except there’s a lot more wet sand involved!

They dunno how they could ever get tired! When they tumble into the ocean they’re laughing, splashing Monster Kid as Flowey clings to their hair and yells in his shrieky voice about if you drown me our friendship is over, Frisk, over! and even if Frisk can only kinda hear like maybe every third word he says with the crashing of the ocean waves they don’t CARE!!! Cause they!! Are!! At the beach!!! ‘cause MONSTERS are at the beach!!! They get to be at the BEACH!!!

Undyne doesn’t swim to the other side of the world but she DOES swim out really really far and come back with a very confused shark following her, which she can’t talk to but does try, and then Papyrus tries with even less luck, and then Alphys finally gets in the water with like four swim floaties on and she and the shark stare at each other for a real real long time before the shark NODS AT HER and swims away, and, like, woah!! What??? Alphys talked to the shark!!

“I didn’t,” Alphys says, through her laughter, “I think it just, just got tired of us and swam away, I didn’t…”

“That’s my GIRLFRIEND!” Undyne yells, and suplexes Papyrus directly into an oncoming wave.

Flowey makes them play sand-ball again when the other kids start up a new match, and Frisk does get a lot of sand in their mouth, and sort of all-over, and they don’t love that feeling but also they love playing with their friends more than they hate the sand-feeling they think, and the ocean is right there, smelling like salt and fresh air and Momma does pull them aside to try and get some of the sand out of their hair but they just tumble right back into the water and that sorta fixes that.

They find cool shells!! They pile them all up on Sans ‘cause Flowey said it would be like a game and they dunno how to win put-stuff-on-Sans-the-game but Momma giggles when they do it and it doesn’t wake him up so they think they’ve won something for sure. Someone gets stung by a jellyfish! Asgore’s fur is all windblown and it makes him look like a big fuzzy puffball! Two of their blankets blow away! Their sandwich tastes kinda like sand which is fitting ‘cause of the name!

When the sun’s started to sink in the sky and Frisk has spent the past while curled up on Momma’s blanket warmed by the fire that’s been started up and gnawing on the marshmallow Monster Kid brought them, ‘cept they sorta finished that a long time ago so they’re kinda just chewing the stick, Flowey says, popping up nearby, “I’ve decided.”

Frisk flips over and lifts their hands. “Decided what?”

“That this wasn’t your worst idea ever. To bully me into coming along.”

Frisk flaps their hands and grabs Flowey to hug him real real close, even though he is just a flower so hugging him isn’t ever as good as they want it to be. His petals against their skin are fuzzy-kinda, and soft around the edges, and they squeak their joy louder.

“Hey!” Flowey squirms out of their grip, smacking their head with a leaf. “I said it wasn’t your worst idea, Frisk, not that it was a good one! Second-worst idea! Get it? That’s all this is!”

They giggle, ducking Flowey’s next slap, and then his low-damage bullets, and then scramble cackling to their feet as he throws stars blazing and chaos sabers and whatever other names they don’t remember from when they fought him way forever ago, attacks that never hit them ‘cause they’re THAT good at dodging, ‘n they blast apart into magic bits when they hit the sand anyways. Some of the monsters are kinda mad when that happens ‘cause it kicks up sand, but Frisk! Keeps!! Going!!! All the way ‘til Flowey corners them against the ocean, ‘n is all big and dramatic and pretending like he’s scary, so Frisk shakes their hands to pretend at scared even though they aren’t ever scared of him anymore.

“Nowhere left to run!” he crows, ‘n he’s grinning, not the scrunched-up angry one but the big wide exhila—exclier—something something that means really happy one. “I’ve got you now!”

“Oh yeah?” Frisk taunts, and dodges his next stars blazing to dive into the ocean, where Flowey can’t follow cause flowers can’t really swim so good. Splashing at the water with one hand they giggle as Flowey rants and complains, ‘n send a huge splash his way, drenching him so he looks like Alphys’s cat that one time she fell into the bathtub and was real sad and wet for the rest of the day.

Flowey does get them back, ‘n when Frisk finally climbs out of the ocean they’re still trying to get all the seaweed out of their hair. But when they return to Momma’s blanket where she’s talking to Sans-who-woke up, though all the sand and shells are still piled up on him, Flowey threads himself around their shoulders ‘n watches too.

By the time everyone’s leaving Frisk thinks they maybe already fell asleep, ‘cause next they know they’re in the car ‘n out the window is the hotel they’re staying at tonight. They did fall asleep with their hearing aids in which oops but their ears don’t hurt that bad so probably it’s fine. Momma tells them they can stay asleep but instead they hold onto her hand ‘n kinda stumble against her as she brings them up to the room ‘n all that stuff, which probably means maybe they are kinda trying to sleep but they don’t wanna have her hold them ‘n then not be able to bring all their stuff.

When in the room Momma asks if they wanna wash the sand off them which they do, ‘n so they try and fail to figure out how to get the shower to work ‘cause they’re so sleepy they kinda forget how the knob works. But Momma helps ‘n by the time they’re in their bed it’s real late ‘n dark out, and even Flowey’s sleepy ‘cause he’s not complaining that he has to share with them, even though he’s also a flower so Frisk still isn’t really entirely sure if he sleeps. But he slithers off their arm ‘n wraps himself around one of the pillows so probably he does something.

They’re right there on the edge of sleep, burrowed under the blankets so it’s real dark how they like, when they hear Chara-kinda.

Chara’s not talking to them, but xe’s humming to xirself, real soft ‘n quiet ‘n so faint Frisk kinda isn’t sure how they even caught it. Xe’s singing, they realize after a moment, though not any song they recognize so it isn’t one on their big music playlist they’ve been dragging along. It takes them a moment to pick up the words, sung in Chara’s soft kinda-scratchy voice, I was there; a dead soul looking for love, in pretty snake holes…

Frisk swallows, hugging the corner of the blanket they’ve grabbed a bit closer. Did they hear Chara at all on the beach? They thought so for sure but also they were doing so so much, like playing and running and swimming and surely Chara was excited too, to see the beach with everyone, to play ‘n laugh. But they dunno if…

You’re now there, Chara’s still singing, ‘n with xir voice which is all-Chara kinda they think they can hear the music bits, too, whatever Chara remembers from the song. You’re opening bombs in gift wrap, without a care…get out of there…get out of there…

Frisk blinks heavy eyes. Wishes like they wish a lot that they could hug Chara, hug Chara like they hug Momma or anybody else, grab on so tight it’s like for a second they’re the same person, but not-actually ‘cause if they were the same it would be like right here forever, where Chara is so close but also far-away, ‘n Frisk just wants xir to taste the same warmth they feel always in their chest, like here here here. Wants to hug Chara so tight ‘til everything makes sense again.

I have seen, and Chara’s voice goes rough around the edges, like a heaviness xe doesn’t know how to say, like Frisk doesn’t know how to say, so much of me in you, but only the pages I threw, away from my story, and Frisk can taste tears in their throat if not in their eyes, their-own but that means if Chara wants to cry maybe Frisk can cry for xir, and they want, they WANT, they dunno what they want but they want like hugging a dumb blanket which isn’t Chara but they hug tighter. You don’t need that kind of black and blue, and they taste blood-kinda, like sharp metal, marking up your heart, bleeding through, all of your pages…pages…

They say, Chara?

Chara startles, and xir song cuts off. M—Milkweed? What? I thought you were asleep, Milkweed, what are you doing awake?

Frisk shrugs. Why didn’t you talk to me at the beach?

For a long moment Chara is silent, but the heavy kinda silent which isn’t really silence but more like press press press, like something metal smushing Frisk’s heart. Then xe says, you were with your friends, Frisk. What did you need a ghost for?

Frisk says, your friends too though!!!

Chara hums. Go to sleep, Milkweed. It is very late.

Xe says it like this is over which Frisk hates, like something bubbling over. It’s the kinda thing where they dunno how to sound smart against it so they can’t say anything at all, and Chara is already pulling away, and Chara is their friend too, and beach-adventures aren’t so fun when they don’t have Chara along with them. But they can’t say any of that without just yelling it and pulling and so they say it not at all, ‘n instead ask, ‘cause this they can say, you were singing.

Which isn’t really ask maybe. But they mean it like talk to me please?

Chara clears xir throat. You, ah. Heard that?

Frisk nods. Curls in a bit more on themselves. They’ve got some blood crusted under their fingernails and they aren’t entirely sure from where. It was pretty. But I don’t know the song.

Chara says, oh. That. The warmth that is Chara gets a little colder. It is just a song I found when you weren’t…around. As much.

Frisk says, oh. ‘n they know the time Chara means. The month they don’t remember really at all. The month where Chara and Flowey stopped fighting so much and now just fight a little bit. The month where after it Frisk came back ‘n stopped feeling Chara’s motions in their own hands so much.

Frisk says, I like your voice. Can you keep singing?

Milkweed, I…

But Chara swallows. Faintly there’s a pressure in Frisk’s fingers.

Only for you, Milkweed, Chara says, and only this once. To help you fall asleep.

Frisk nods, hiding their face against their pillow. And they do fall asleep then. To Chara’s voice like the best blanket in the world, tucked gently over them, ‘n they know it’s just a song and just Chara indulging them but it’s kinda like xe’s singing it and means it only just for them.

Remember the love that I sent…‘til then I’ll keep holding your head…your head…

 And so the trip continues on, ‘n Frisk gets used to the road. Gets used to all the different places Momma can stop like rest stops which are little buildings kinda in the middle of nowhere with bathrooms and maps sometimes and even that one that had a hiking trail Flowey forced them to go on ‘cause he right-away burrowed onto it and Frisk had to run after him and Momma ran after them too, but it was fun in the end. Frisk counted so many birds, and Flowey pointed out a bunch of cool flowers, and Chara didn’t say that much but Frisk made sure to think really loudly at xir just in case maybe things got messed up somehow so Chara wasn’t able to hear everything like them without hearing aids. And with them sometimes.

They meet up with their friends along the way, and though the next big meeting point isn’t for a bit Momma arranges it so they meet up with Monster Kid for a day ‘n they have real fun on an old wooden playground, even if they do get like a kajillion splinters. The shimmery sharp pain of them is worth playing cats with Monster Kid up on the big structures, and totally beating Flowey even if he refuses to accept that he totally lost ‘n just ‘cause he’s a lion doesn’t mean he gets! To! Beat them!!! ‘cause sure they might be a small cat but they’re real fierce, and they tell him as such, having climbed all the way up to the top of the little wooden building, overlooking the whole wide expanse of playground. They even wave at Momma talking to Monster Kid’s parents at one of the picnic tables, plus a few human parents who they think might be parents of the human kids they roped into playing cats with them.

They spell out, poking Flowey when they’re done, him having followed them right up, “soursport.” And stick out their tongue.

“You can’t not get killed by a lion!” Flowey pokes them right back. “You weight two pounds. You’re like a baby. Alphys’s cats could eat you.”

“Nuh-uh!” Frisk protests, giggling still. “Black-footed cats are—are—” They wait for Chara to fill in the fact for them. Chara help?? Chara why did I pick the black-footed cat. Chara??

“Pathetic and tiny?” Flowey offers, and Frisk shakes themself. Chara where are you, they think again. They don’t like when Chara is quiet!! Chara! CHARA!!!

Milkweed! Chara startles back. What? I thought you were playing?

I need you to tell me cat facts, Frisk says, and wants to say something more, wants to ask, you can play with us too, even if you don’t want me to tell anybody else, please I don’t want to not hear your voice again, but Chara’s not warm-close like Frisk wants xir to be. Instead xe’s too-far and cold kinda and it makes Frisk’s nails dig into their palms which makes the splinters hurt more which makes Chara say oh, Frisk, you should have Mother pull those out, which! Isn’t! What! Frisk! WANTS!!!

Playing cats on the playground isn’t so fun anymore after that, but they try to force a smile so they don’t drag the other kids down with them.

Or or or a few days later, when Flowey sees a sign for an antique store with a silly name and begs Momma to pull over, so they do, ‘n there wandering after Momma through the aisles Frisk thinks maybe here Chara will talk, ‘cause there’s a lot of old stuff here and Chara’s old too, but nothing at all so Frisk is left staring into the dead shiny glass eyes of a deer where they can only see their own reflection, them them them and no Chara at all.

They fumble for their phone and start up their music and turn up the volume so loud until their phone refuses to let it go any louder, ‘cause blasting sound directly into their ear so loud isn’t good and can make their hearing loss worse or whatever. But mostly it just makes them Mad. Mad like they kinda wanna tear the deer-head down and see if Chara does something then. Like tells them to stop.

Chara says, this is your trip, Frisk. And is quiet and far before Frisk can return yours too.

They press the up volume even though all it does it make that stupid pop-up appear over and over again. This will hurt your ears blah blah blah whatever.

They say, Chara, can you sing to me again?

But maybe that’s blotted out by the music so loud in their ears. Maybe maybe maybe. They stay next to Momma for the rest of the time in the store. Only manage a smile when Flowey tries to convince Momma that he needs to own an old policecar and it’ll be so easy to bring it with them.

Before Frisk even really knows it they’re somewhere in the middle of the country which is weird, ‘cause the middle is all flat ‘n they’ve lived in the mountains for like forever. It’s midday maybe ‘n there’s not a whole lot to look at, mostly just lots and lots of fields and corn-says-Flowey, though they dunno when he became so good at picking out what corn looks like from a moving car.

Frisk’s got their head against the window through which they can feel the vibrations of Momma’s car as it rolls over the road, ‘n watches that, too, watches the road, where all the lines of it kinda blur together like so many gray lines racing, and it makes their head numb a bit, like the world is a bit further away than it used to be. Which is okay-maybe. But it means their head is real empty ‘n they don’t like that so much. Aren’t so sure where Chara’s gone off to.

Eventually it starts raining, which makes sense ‘cause probably they heard thunder somewhere back, ‘n the sky’s gone real dark. It messes up the blur of the road-lines though. In their hands Frisk flips around their phone where it’s saying the music that’s playing, ‘n they tap through to skip a few songs less ‘cause they don’t wanna hear them and more just to have something to do.

At their side Flowey crawls up their arm and presses his face against the window, where the raindrops are all beaded up. “Hey, Frisk. This is getting really boring. Want to play a game or something?”

Frisk shakes him off. Their hands are lead-kinda, like they’re so so tired even though they don’t think they are? They kinda dunno why everything is…blegh. They’d ask Chara but Chara. Isn’t. Answering!!! Which is. Making them. Want to bite their hand kinda like that’ll draw Chara out.

“Frisk?” Flowey prods a leaf against their cheek and they try to slap him off. “There you are. C’mon! I learned one from those weird humans at the playground a few days ago.”

Something inside of Frisk that feels a lot like Chara lifts xir head, and Frisk’s breath catches in their throat. Before they even really fully know what they’re doing they’re already signing “you talked to humans???” Not because they don’t know—they were there when it happened—and more ‘cause it’s the first they’ve felt stirring from Chara in a while. Chara Chara Chara? they try, and get no response. But xir presence doesn’t go away.

“Uh, yeah?” Flowey squints at them. “Had to. We were playing cats together. Anyways,” and Flowey waves it off, gestures out the window, “it’s called, uh…well, I forgot. I bet it was dumb anyways! But you look out the window and try to find as many license plates from other states as you can. Like—there!” Flowey jabs a leaf against the window as a car speeds by them, metal-water-light blurring in the rain. “That was Colorado. Point for me!”

Frisk considers for a moment. Kinda can’t see so well out the window. It’s raining very hard. But ‘cause of that Momma and everyone really are going a lot slower than usual…and they might have an idea, like something bright lighting up, and it makes them grin, flapping their hands ‘cause they cannot contain inside how good this idea is.

“Okay,” they sign to Flowey, “but no cheating!”

“Pssh, what? You think so little of me?” But Flowey settles further around their shoulder. “Here, how about we both look out the same window. So you,” he winks, ‘n they know that means Chara, which makes Frisk grin wider and wink right back, but they’re not so good at it so sorta they just blink at him, “can do all the double-checking you need.”

Inside Frisk beams bright, which means outside probably they do the exact same thing. Chara!!! We can play this together! You’re way good at spotting-stuff games! C’mon!!! Stop hiding away!

Chara hums faintly. Which isn’t the best but is THERE, and so Frisk throws themself into the game with everything they’ve got.

Frisk is, as they learn really quick, very very VERY bad at the finding-states game. Not just ‘cause Flowey can say faster than they can figure out how to sign state-names. Also they truly cannot read license plates well. They’re so small and outside is so blurry and there’s so many other things to look at, like the little wildflowers that are seen rarely sometimes alongside the road ‘n make them miss the mountains ‘cause there they saw wildflowers EVERYWHERE, or the raindrops that race each other down the window, and also did they mention how hard the rain is and how hard it is to read things in a moving car when there is So Much Rain, and besides there is MUSIC and that they have to bounce along too or else they’ll DIE, sitting still without letting it flood them, and and and and and.

So yeah they lose real fast. Like really fast.

But even more than the losing ‘cause really who cares if they lose if they’re having fun is the fact that Chara! Isn’t! Helping them! This game they wanna play for them BOTH, ‘cause Chara likes games like this probably, ‘cause Chara was the one who moved they think probably, but Chara doesn’t! Help! Or talk at all! And it makes it even harder for Frisk to play!

Chara! Frisk flails their hands, mashing their nose against the window. They know they’ve lost a state ‘cause Flowey is gloating right next to them all annoying-like, and Momma’s telling him to be nice they think, sorta-kinda, hard to hear that bit when they’re so focused on Chara. Play with us!

This is your game, Frisk, says Chara, and they slump further against the window. It’s like cold heavy in their heart and they want Chara here, with them, but instead xe’s kinda snappish and too-far and they! Don’t! Get it! This is for Chara! This dumb game they aren’t any good at but what’s the point if Chara doesn’t care? ‘cause xe wasn’t at the beach or the playground and now not here, and they don’t get it!

“Tennessee!” Flowey crows, and Frisk jumps ‘cause oh right the game. Right now they’re kinda just staring out at rain and blurring road and blur blur blur, and this isn’t fun anymore. It’s not-fun like how playing cats got not-fun even though it should be the most fun, ‘cause Chara was supposed to be here with them.  “15-4, to me! Take that!”

Frisk glares harder out the window. Flowey pokes them.

“Hey,” he snaps, “this is no fun if you’re going to mope all the time! Play, Frisk! You have to work with me here!”

Half-heartedly, Frisk signs a-r even though they dunno if there’s even an Arkansas car outside right now, bringing them up to five against Flowey’s fifteen. But they don’t care! They want Chara, Chara who—

Frisk, says Chara, stop focusing on me. Flowey is right there. Talk with him.

Frisk jerks. But I wanna talk to you! I wanna play this WITH YOU, but already Chara’s too-far for them to reach, just like when they were playing cats, and they don’t wanna play the dumb state-finding game and not play with Chara, and if Chara wants them to play it without xir too bad! Chara can just!! Sign states XIRSELF!!!!

Frisk, says Chara, and Frisk’s nails dig into their palms. I do not have a body of my own. What are you trying to accomplish, here? Flowey is getting testy. You did agree to play with him.

Frisk slumps further down. Flowey’s needling at them to get up to see better out the window but! Frisk! Doesn’t! Want! This! Dumb! Game!! They want to have Chara talk to them, and not talk then go away like Frisk should be okay with that! They want Chara FOREVER, and if Chara doesn’t want that well! Well!!! Fine-then! Whatever!!! What!!! Ever!!!!

Frisk turns up the volume of the music ‘til they can’t hear Flowey’s voice anymore, just whatever song is on, but in all the time you felt so free... It’s not one they know either, which means it’s a Chara-song, and kinda Frisk wants to skip it just for that reason but there’s a sharp anger in their chest ‘n the song kinda tastes like that, too, a bit, did you forget how much you once loved me, booming in their ears. Chara’s not listening to them. Chara’s not HERE, Chara acts like this is what they should WANT, and Frisk can’t do anything but stare out the window.

The music goes, the thud thudthud of it like their soul against their ribcage, ‘n if they focus on that they don’t have to focus on Chara, which feels bad but kind of everything feels bad right now up to and including Flowey yelling about whatever Ohio is and they don’t care but Chara is something sharp at their side like he’s right there, but. But but but but but but BUT—

They bite their lip sharp ‘til it tastes like metal-y blood and focus instead on the song, and if you want something back, and oh that’s BITTER. Bitter and they dunno why Chara put this one on here, and kinda-briefly they think back to the song Chara sung them, remember the love that I sent, but it’s ash underneath the sharp edge of this new one, all the things that got cracked, when I felt like you lied to me.

Frisk! Chara yells, and “Frisk!” Flowey yells, and up up up goes the music, and all the million mistakes, and maybe somewhere in there is Momma and the rain and the cars rushing by and the road of so many gray lines blurred underneath the weight of the storm, and thunder-cracks just when the song pounds, and the kicks in the face, and blood in their mouth ‘n under their nails and somehow still sand gritty from the beach where Chara was silent and gone and xe’s silent and gone HERE, here where xe won’t talk to them. And Flowey yells at them too and wants something and they just want Chara, and Momma is saying, “children, please, I need to focus, it is much more dangerous to drive in a storm,” and again up up up, Frisk mashing the volume so hard it makes their finger ache.

But I don’t want you to die in me, so loud Frisk couldn’t miss a single word, so loud, this is the part where Chara tells them at home to turn down the volume, or at least turn off their hearing aids, but instead Chara is not there at all, or maybe xe is and xir saying Frisk, Frisk, Frisk, and there is something there, see, something there in xir voice that makes Frisk bite hard at the inside of their cheek. Something there that isn’t light but is annoyed instead of here.

Flowey’s snapping, “Frisk, what is your problem?” And Chara’s saying, Frisk, stop spiraling and listen to your friend, and none of it is what Frisk wants, and their hands are lead, and LOUDER LOUDER LOUDER, music thumps on, so when you say what you want, that you need what you got, and Chara again, cutting through it, Frisk, stop, and Flowey saying, “Frisk, stop,” and the music so loud and their ears are actually hurting now, and their EVERYTHING is kinda hurting, and up up up, more, more more more more MORE.

Don’t forget—and Chara says Frisk, turn down the music, but Frisk is listening to SOMETHING ELSE—to be kind to me—

Momma very dimly like something half-heard is saying, “children, please—”

And Flowey is saying, “Frisk, I need you to translate—”

And Chara pressing, Milkweed, shut it off—

And the song like Frisk’s heartbeat, I don’t want you to die in me—

And louder, louder, LOUDER, until the song is all they can hear and it is all the world and everything is the song, because—

And Frisk’s hands are wrenched out of their control as their-hand-but-not yanks the cord out of their phone, cutting off the music, and in the sharp slicing silence burning warmth Chara yells, “I said, turn the stupid music off!”

Frisk is panting. Not-Frisk-though, but it IS their body and they feel it, kinda, fuzzily, like far-away. Chara’s the one panting. Chara flooding all their veins. Chara recoiling in the silence. Flowey’s mouth agape. Momma dim and distant.

Frisk blinks. Tries to blink. Can’t do it actually.

Oh, they think, faint, like the aftertaste of blood, I remember the last time this happened. When I…

The world closes in dark around them, and Frisk doesn’t know anything else.

—sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, Milkweed, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean, I didn’t want this to happen, Milkweed, please, I’m sorry, come back, come back, come back home, please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…

The world is dim. Dim like muffled sound underneath a blanket, like Frisk giggling under the covers but this time they aren’t laughing ‘n the muffle is like an ache in their chest more and not the delight at getting away with something. Mostly everything is thick and fuzzy in their mouth, ‘n when they try to blink their eyes are wet.

Frisk! Chara’s voice is what they hear loudest-of-all, an extra pressure against their fingers when they try to curl them into some sort of sign like here here here, but mostly they just think that very hard and foggy-still. Their mouth is dry. Their heart aches harder. Thump thump thump they feel their soul, but slow-too. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Outside it’s raining really hard. That Frisk sees before anything else, as they rub at their head. They’re in Momma’s car which isn’t moving ‘cause the rain isn’t flashing by like it does on the road. It’s coming down real fast around them, pattering against the road the car the buildings the everything.

Something twitches next to them and they jump ‘til it comes into shape as Flowey, his petals pulled back kinda in that way he does when he’s worried-Chara-says, but says past-tense ‘cause xe doesn’t say it now.

“Frisk,” he whispers, very quiet. Or they think he says Frisk. Actually they can’t hear him at all but can see his mouth move and mostly know what their name looks like. Outside it rains still. Rain rain rain. Falling from the sky. They crane their head back to see it better.

They say inside, Chara?

I’m sorry. Chara says-but-doesn’t-say to them. Less like words and more like something constant written in their soul leaving marks behind, and they wrap their arms around themself and whine, their response sticking in their throat. I am sorry, Frisk, I never mean to—I should not have—I just wanted—I did not mean—I’m sorry, Frisk, you’re home, you’re home, you’re home, and xir voice cracks, and so something in them cracks also with Chara’s sorrow.

Sorrow they taste. Taste so thick like a pounding in their skull.

They try again and say, Chara.

Chara’s voice-warmth goes babble. Or not babble but like words but not the words they wanna hear, because they dunno what to do with the sorry. Chara says sorry again but also away goes the sorrow but they feel it still even if Chara says it weird. Chara keeps going, it is raining. You remember Mother pulled over because of my…outburst. The rain kept coming down harder. We are…taking a break. From the driving.

They remember how loud the music was. The silence stretches on now, not silent like no-sounds, ‘cause the rain is so loud they can hear it, but silent like no music. Their hands are shaking kinda. Outside the world is blurred through raindrops, splashing on the ground and filling in holes in the road, the dirt, everything all-over. Flowey’s pulled back and away from them. Chara is cold inside.

Chara wasn’t cold before. Not when xe yelled. When Frisk felt xir All Over. Chara was the world and they were just inside it for a little bit, and sure they went away and Chara thinks sorry but it crawls under Frisk’s skin like so many ants biting all-over, like the sand that stuck to them but this time there aren’t friends and games and laughter to blunt the edges of it. This time it’s just Frisk and they can’t feel Chara in their body anymore, just faintly against their mind.

Frisk, I’m sorry, says Chara again, I did not mean to steal your autonomy away. It will not happen again. You will be free to enjoy this trip without a ghost ruining it.

Frisk knows Mad. They know Mad ‘cause they felt it before during the game but Mad isn’t what they feel now. Not all-Mad anyways. They don’t know what to do. So they watch outside the rain and want, like reaching forever and ever and ever, and they’re very good at reaching. They reach so hard until they reach right past what people say they never were gonna make it to and have it. Chara calls it determination, so they do too now.

They haven’t made it yet where they want to. They don’t want this, these words Chara tells them, because what they want is how it felt in those moments before, when the music was so loud it was in their chest, when Chara REACHED, and they FELT XIR, and the world was blinding and fire and it hurt maybe sure but they don’t care so much about that ‘cause the hurt was BURNING, and burning-warm and want want want, and then everything went silent and dark and that part was less good. But in that brief short second before.

Chara says Frisk, and xir voice is so very far away and not felt in their chest at all.

They dunno how to say the words. Everything twists over itself in their mind and their hands when they try to sign, so they don’t try any more. Instead they hug themself tighter, nails pressed into their skin. Not enough to break ‘cause Momma would notice and make them stop. But enough to feel it. Feel it instead of what they wanna feel.

Flowey pokes them. Sometime when they were talking to Chara he must’ve grabbed their phone ‘cause it’s that he presses into their lap and they look down at it where he’s written out what the hell happened I thought we were having fun, and when they look back at him he smiles but it doesn’t really reach his eyes still all scrunched.

They poke absently at the keys. Then flip over to the emoji keyboard and respond with a few sad faces.

Flowey types, is Chara still there?

They shrug. Chara says Frisk, and it’s cold.

Frisk types want. Again and again and again.

Chara says, I am so very sorry, Frisk.

Want want want want want, are all the words Frisk can string together, instead of everything they feel. Like I don’t care. Like don’t say sorry. They want to feel that burning again and they want it like the campfire on the beach, warm and there for so long, and they don’t like it when Chara says Frisk instead of Milkweed, because they want everything that is theirs-only, ‘cause not even Momma calls them that. They want everything to make sense again. They want to drive again. They want Chara to see it all. They want the world only ‘cause they want Chara to see it.

Outside the rain falls on. Thunder crackles. When Frisk looks the sky is dark and covered in clouds, only broken by thin streaks of sunlight breaking through sometimes. One hearing aid does the beep beep beep that means low battery.

Frisk twists out of their seatbelt. Gathers Flowey into their arms and lets him wrap around their shoulders. Crawls all the way into the front seat and into Momma’s lap where they press into the warmth of her which isn’t what they want but the closest they know how to get. Chara says nothing at all except to translate Momma’s signs for them ‘cause staring at them they sorta forget everything forever.

Momma asks, translates Chara, “do you want to talk about anything?”

They shake their head. Press it to her heart to feel the beat beat beat of it, or maybe that’s the rain or maybe it’s both twisted up together, so big and grand. Up front they can see best-of-all out the big front windows, the rain pitter-pattering against the glass, blurring the world. Against Momma they reach out to plug their phone back into the music. Turn the sound down so it’s not blaring anymore. Let the music wash over them.

It’s quiet whatever the song is that comes on, and they don’t really recognize it but they don’t think Chara put it on ‘cause Chara-songs they kinda know, and even if they don’t there’s a Chara-ness there. So maybe this one was them. But the sounds blend into the rain, less sound really and more like a vibration against their heart, something steady, constant, slower. Like breathing, and they do. In and out. Matching their breaths to Momma’s.

They only really know when singing starts ‘cause of Chara. It’s too quiet otherwise.

Down from the ceiling…drips great noise…

Chara still doesn’t say anything. There is still something inside of Frisk that is Mad, and that doesn’t know how to express that. Still Chara isn’t so close, and still Frisk wants, reaching, always.

But the rain falls. Casting the world in blue and dark, like somehow even through the blur of the wet window the world outside is clear. Like their soul inside their chest leveling out ‘n settling in time.

It drips on my head through a hole in the roof…

They curl deeper into Momma, nestling themself there. Flowey rests his head atop their hair, watching the rain with them. The world thrums in time. Chara is soft and faint and there, still. Not how they want. But not gone-away forever.

Behind these two hills here…there’s a pool…

They grab onto the sound of Chara and hug it as close to them as they can. It’s all-pretend. Chara isn’t a thing they can grab really, but still like a cat they imagine curling up around Chara, warm warm warm forever, somehow knowing everything they want Chara to know, saying it perfectly, so they’re both warm and happy and Chara isn’t ever sad again. So Chara gets the world with them.

I love you, they think, I love you I love you I love you.

Chara hums on in-time with the music, with the ever-present pound of rain, the weak sunlight reflecting off the car. And when I’m swimming, in through a tunnel…

Frisk breathes. In-out.

I shut my eyes…

They stop driving.

Not forever. Momma says we’re taking a break, and kinda Frisk wants to fight that so they DO, but Momma doesn’t change her mind and maybe-kinda sitting at the window of their hotel room staring out it Frisk can sorta try to put the pieces together. ‘cause Momma doesn’t know about Chara and doesn’t know everything about Flowey, but mostly they wanna be out there again and they want it to be BETTER, but it was bad then and is bad now and maybe things are bad forever.

Even the music doesn’t help like it did. Mostly it’s like dead things in their chest ‘n they dunno when it became that, became just Vibration and Noise but not the sort they feel so vibrant in their soul. They check and its not a hearing-aid-battery problem which means it’s a them problem which means. Something. Probably something.

That isn’t to say not driving means they do nothing at all, ‘cause that’s not true. Momma stops them near a city so there are city-things they can do and it is a smallish city ‘cause it’s where monsters are meeting next so they do go there, but mostly they watch Flowey playing with the other monster kids while they kinda sit and sit and Wonder.

Chara doesn’t say anything at all.

Asgore gets them ice cream which is nice, but mostly it’s just cold and gives them a brain freeze. Undyne and Papyrus find the dog park but even petting dogs isn’t really that fun when Chara is just like this heaviness they dunno how to reach, and when they just flop sideways into the grass they think their friends get that something is wrong. But Frisk can’t say what is wrong. Their tongue is lead always and now their hands are too, and when the voices keep washing over them they flip their hearing aids to off where the world is mostly silent and muffled.

Momma brings them home early to the hotel. They don’t listen when she asks what is wrong. Can’t hear her anyways ‘n if they roll over and hide their face in their pillow they can’t see signs either.

Chara Chara Chara Chara they think over and over and over again, ‘til the very sounds of xir name are worn into their soul. Chara. Chara. Chara. Chara. It doesn’t work. It keeps not working but they don’t know what ELSE to do, don’t know why this is happening at all and they’d take empty dark void if it means Chara is around, take ANYTHING if it means Chara is around, ‘n their head alone with just their voice is like echoing sound Underground but worse ‘cause when they were alone Underground they had Chara but alone on the surface means nobody at all.

They talk to only Flowey really, ‘cause he gets it. Or at least knows Chara, but mostly he just scrunches up at them and says, “honestly, I don’t know what you were expecting,” and that makes Frisk Mad and Mad they understand, even if Flowey doges them when they try to fight.

“What!” Flowey hisses at them from atop the hotel-room TV that Frisk sorta wants to knock over. “It’s Chara, Frisk! Xe’s just like this! Quite frankly, the fact that xe lasted this long is a miracle. When xe wants to die, xe doesn’t exactly give up.”

Frisk growls. Like they did when they were playing cats on the playground but this time deeper and real and scared-maybe. “Xe doesn’t want to die,” they sign, shaking their head so hard their neck aches. “Doesn’t.”

Flowey rolls his eyes. “All I’m saying,” he says, “is I’ve lived this before. And I’m not particularly surprised it’s playing out again.”

He’s still on the TV. The TV right there and skinny enough and if Frisk just reaches out a little bit further, and yes look Flowey is backing away from them and it’s RIGHT THERE, and Frisk thinks okay jump for it, because if they knock it down they can grab him, grab Flowey, one two three GO—

Milkweed, stop.

Frisk freezes. For a second they think they don’t even have any thoughts because everything goes fuzzy before snapping right back into so-bright and clear, as Chara’s voice fades away but that was XIR, and warmth blooms in Frisk’s chest.

Chara! they think, grasping at it, Chara hi Chara where have you been Chara! Chara Chara Chara!!!

Their words bounce off the empty corners of their mind. Frisk Thinks. Real hard. Squints their eyes shut and flaps their hands and replays the last few moments.

And gets a great idea.

It doesn’t work always. Turns out picking fights with Flowey doesn’t actually make Chara show up. But when Frisk rushes out of the hotel before Momma and nearly throws themself into the road there’s a pressure that seizes up around their legs and jerks them back as a Whole Entire Car speeds by, which, woah, and Frisk is left panting and breathless ‘cause they didn’t see or hear that AT ALL, and when Momma is worried fussing over them they can’t stop wanting to jump around ‘cause that, THAT’S IT, and they! Are! Getting somewhere!!!

When they stay for the edge of too-long in the hotel swimming pool Chara jerks in their mind and they have to surface. Manage to sneak their way up to the hotel roof and Chara makes them walk right back down the stairs. Flowey calls them an idiot for doing it but they don’t care what Flowey thinks, and besides they don’t have to listen to him when they have the best person ever forever instead.

Frisk, Chara says, in those moments, xir voice sharp, stop this. Now.

Hi Chara! Frisk beams back, skipping back over to Momma.

They don’t let Momma see when they do this. They don’t wanna worry her and this would they think, even if they aren’t scared ‘cause they know Chara wouldn’t actually let them get hurt. Flowey doesn’t get it like he’s already given up, but that doesn’t matter ‘cause Frisk has been told many times they don’t know how to. Chara never talks to them but sometimes right before they fall asleep it’s like xe’s there, right at the edge of them, like worried-mumbling and that is so much better than nothing at all.

So another day passes. And another. Momma brings them around the city to do things that would be more fun if Chara was there they think, but still they do chase Flowey around a park with water that sprouts up everywhere, and they burrow themself in a ball pit at the sensory play place Momma finds, and they get to pelt Flowey with plastic balls which is also fun. But fun like the word fun, not like the feeling fun that gets all buzzy in their chest.

They call their friends sometimes. Don’t talk or sign but listen and watch over their phone, giggling at the big-huge bus Undyne and Papyrus and Alphys and Asgore and Monster Kid and so so many monsters are traveling around in. But again. They don’t feel it. Momma asks why they aren’t blaring music so loud anymore and they dunno how to tell her.

It’s all ash and dust and tasteless now.

Chara still doesn’t let them get hurt. But xe stops talking to them.

That night Frisk slinks out of their bed. Wakes Flowey ‘cause still they don’t know if he sleeps, but when they mime shhhhh shh shh he just nods and wraps around their shoulders as they pad over to the door, glance back to make sure Momma is still asleep—she is—and quiet as they can paw it open and step out into the hotel hallway.

Chara doesn’t say anything. Frisk swallows and closes the door behind them.

They didn’t bring their hearing aids ‘cause they weren’t gonna risk waking Momma doing that, and besides Flowey can still kinda-sorta sign okay enough with just leaves and petals. Or not really but Frisk has learned to understand him, and he doesn’t even have to sign when he just kinda stares at them ‘cause they know he’s wondering why. But they don’t have an answer for him. Just a shrug.

The hotel hallway is long and samelike, the same repeating patterns in the carpet. They make it to the elevator and press the button over and over ‘til it finally shows, ride it all the way down to floor one where they stick low just in case whoever it is at the desk is like why are two kids leaving alone in the middle of the night. But nobody sees them and Flowey is good at lookout and they step out of the hotel and into the dark black of outside. It’s cold-kinda, tonight, but not so cold they won’t be okay just in their pajamas.

Flowey pokes them and holds up their phone which they didn’t even notice he took. The message on it reads, what are you doing, Frisk?

They sign, “Chara.”

Flowey types something new. Xe’s here?

Frisk shakes their head. “I’m gonna run away. ‘til Chara stops me.”

For a very long moment Flowey just stares at them with his beady black eyes. But then he types, yeah, alright, and drops their phone back in their pocket, and rearranges himself around their shoulder. So he’s in! Which is good. Frisk hasn’t super planned for this actually. All they know is that they don’t give up. And they’ve run away before. That run-away brought them Underground and to Momma and all their friends but the first person they ever met down there was Chara, Chara Chara Chara, way forever ago when they didn’t even know who or what Chara was and just felt something different about their chest, like a new weight they had to get used to.

They don’t wanna run. They want to go back on the road trip with Momma and meet all their friends and throw more sand at Flowey, and they want to feel fun again, all light and bubbly.

But more than anything else they wanna do that with Chara. And Frisk doesn’t give up.

So with Flowey around them they set off following the road, the moon high above them, its light blotted out by dark incoming clouds.

Frisk has no idea how long they’ve been wandering for when it starts to storm.

Kinda hard, too. Like, thunder so loud they can hear it, and rain thick like it was raining back in the car, but this time they don’t have a car for protection and instead it’s just them and Flowey and no umbrellas at all and their hair all plastered to their face. Flowey has ducked down under the collar of their pajamas and probably he is yelling at them but with the rain and the wind howling there’s no way at all of hearing him, ‘n their phone can’t get wet so that’s out, and even Sign won’t work with how little they can see. It’s dark and wet and gross, and cold for-real-now, and the feeling of clothes sticking to their skin is actually they think the worst thing in the world, and their socks got wet so long ago and they’re wading through mud basically, and their great idea of ducking into a forest to try and stay dry didn’t even work ‘cause the trees are working against them they think.

Flowey’s leaves press against their chest. Ducking down against the wind they press up next to a big tree but again, trees are not as good at this as they thought.

You think, says a voice in their head, that sounds a lot like their own thoughts in voice but literally nowhere close in what is actually said, it would have been smart to check the weather, unless your plan was to get yourself killed, in which case, goal achieved. Call Mom?

Which is a very bad way to read their plan! Their plan is great actually. So maybe they thought Chara would’ve shown up like right when it started to storm or actually when they were walking down the road to turn them around and walk right back home. But instead they’re out here in the storm and Chara isn’t here and that. Is. Fine! It’s fine that Chara is gone actually ‘cause xe’s going to show up xe will, xe has to, and Frisk wants to be at the hotel and warm and wants to be hearing Chara and kinda hates how scratchy-stiff Flowey’s leaves are right now and also hates how hard it’s raining, and keeps tripping over roots, and they kinda thought that this was over. Over after the Underground and they just got to live on the surface with Momma their friends and with Chara, their best brainfriend ever.

Instead here they kick at mud. Flowey pokes his head out and they can see his mouth moving but wow the wind is LOUD, and he just huffs and flails his leaves ‘til they realize he’s trying to point at something, and! Hey wait!!

Flowey points them to the road!!! They lost that forever ago, and stumbling up onto it yes the rain is real bad, but also it’s not just empty road but! That is!! A house!! Like a burnt house and half the walls are gone and for sure nobody is living there, but that is better than nothing at all! Wow they thought they left these things behind when they got out of the super long bits of road with nothing but fields but maybe they walked way more than they thought.

You saw this when we were driving to the hotel, says them-but-not-them, but it was raining rather hard then, too. I suppose you forgot.

Frisk scrambles into the old house, right through the huge missing bits of wall. Inside is…a lot of plants. Very overgrown. Flowey finally drops off of them and into the dirt, shaking himself like a wet dog, and Frisk giggles and does the same. It doesn’t help at all. They’re soaking wet but there is actually a roof here, and they’re able to find a patch where it’s not leaking, and sit there. Now the rain pounding and howling is only like half their entire world instead of it all.

This would be a good time to call Mom, thinks not-their-voice. Which is weird, ‘cause they sound like that but their thoughts are never that put together, and they only know one person who has thoughts all put together like that, but Chara…doesn’t sound…like them…

CHARA! Frisk shrieks inside, flailing their hands so hard they nearly smack Flowey right in the face. He scowls at them before resuming grooming whatever WHATEVER they! Nearly missed! Chara!! Frisk hops to their feet. Chara! You tried to hide but I! Found you!!

I really hoped you would write it off, says Chara, and it’s xir voice Frisk hears, for the first time in—in so long, and the scratchy roughness of it is like the best hug ever, even if it is so heavy and thick with a sorrow Frisk feels beating against their own heart. Why are you doing this, Milkweed?

Uh duh, Frisk thinks back, threading their fingers together as they hold their own hand. ‘cause you won’t talk to me.

I won’t— Chara’s voice through the sorrow is sharp too, sharp like burning-kinda, but the too-hot side of it. Still it’s warmth and Frisk would curl around it if they could. You are hurting yourself, Frisk. Please call Mom. I am sure she is terrified, right now, with you gone.

Frisk shrugs. They kinda can’t feel that sorta terror. Like Momma’s scared for me. ‘course they don’t want her to be scared, she’s Momma, but she isn’t Chara. And right now Chara is here and talking and sorta everything else pales foggy when Chara is here.

…that is not healthy, Frisk. This is…

I just wanna hear you again, Frisk says, their thought-voice quiet. When they sit back down next to Flowey he studies them but doesn’t interrupt, and they think he knows, sorta, kinda. After the car, you just…went away.

No, says Chara, you did. I cannot let that happen again, Frisk, do you—do you understand how terrifying that is? For you not to be present in your own body? It is…like you have died, Frisk. And I am left to puppet your corpse.

That makes Frisk shiver, or maybe that’s the gust of wind that blows through, bringing in rain with it. But mostly not reaching where they are. Frisk stares out the gaps in the broken house walls, where rain presses plantlife to the dirt. Bits of star poke out from the clouds. But I came back.

So far, yes. They can feel the beating of Chara, too, maybe. They know Chara doesn’t have a heart like them. Knows they share it. But still, this beating is Chara’s, they think: smaller and scared-er. But we have no idea how we work. There is no guarantee you will return, Frisk, and…still, I take. I take, and I take. I am very bad for you.

What? Frisk bristles. No! You aren’t!

Of course I am bad for you. Chara’s voice droops like giving-up. Frisk’s nails press into the skin of their palms, and they feel the beat beat beat of their pulse underneath. You—you keep nearly getting hurt, Frisk, I cannot let anything like that happen to you—

‘cause it’s the only time you talk to me! Frisk throws up their hands, wanting something, not knowing how to say it, and so sitting down again was a bad idea so they get up and begin to pace, damp ground squishing below them. You stopped talking Chara! But you won’t lemme get hurt and you talked then, and so I had to—

Oh, why do you want to hear me that badly? Fighting like this hurts, like a knife in their chest, like many magic bullets hitting them at once. They know how Chara’s voice cracks in a fight and xe’s cracking here, and Frisk balls up their hands and presses them right to the skin above their heart. They can taste blood roaring in the back of their throat. Dunno if that’s them or Chara or what.

I am dead, Frisk, Chara continues, I have been dead for so very long. Everybody else knows it. Why don’t you?

I… Frisk’s words twist over each other. Thoughts words signs all of it, just brightsharp feelings, and there’s already tears pricking up at their eyes but that’s not them they think, they don’t cry that easy when they get mad. Are they mad? They dunno. Mostly they want Chara to stop saying everything they don’t want.

Just… Chara sighs and with it so much of the beating pounding thuds of fight die too. Let me do this, Frisk. Please, let me fade away. Be forgotten. My time is well over, but yours is not. All my being here does is risk that, and I…I cannot let that happen. Not to you.

Frisk swallows. Tastes dry, and no warmth at all, even with Chara right here talking to them but still there’s like a barrier, and they broke that barrier, the one Underground, but this one they dunno how to shatter. Just know how to throw themself at it again and again and again and again, but Chara doesn’t like it when they hurt themself like that. Even though in the moment they mostly don’t feel it.

They felt it the last time they fought. In the car with the rain and it’s raining now too, like it was back then, back trying to do something for Chara who didn’t talk at all, and there with the music so loud it hurt their ears and still wasn’t enough to blot out everything, they remember still what the song said, I don’t want you to die in me, and then it was true and now it is too. Padding to the edge of the broken house they stick their hand out into the rain and the raindrops pelt at their skin, wind tugs at their hair. If they push further would Chara stop them? Would they feel that warmth if only for a second?

They flip their hand over so water gathers in their palm and say, I wanted to do this trip for you.

Frisk, Chara says, that is…

I mean. Frisk shrugs, shaking their hand as they pull back into the mostly-safety of their broken hidden house. Rain patters across the wood, creating patterns in the collecting puddles. I wanted to go too. But mostly I wanted you to see. See all the world and how you get it now too. Monsters…monsters never ever got the world, and before I didn’t really either. Just people who didn’t like me. But now we have it! Me and them and you too and, and that’s good! It’s good, Chara. I just. They rub their hand across their face. I want you to have all this with me.

That is…kind of you, Frisk. For a long moment Chara is silent, so Frisk stares out across the rain ‘til their vision goes unfocused. Like fog rolling in. But it does not change the facts. And the facts are as thus: I can push you away, smother you in your own body. And I cannot stay here so long as that is true. Should not stay here, besides.

But I want you here.

Chara sighs. Frisk, are you listening to me at all?

I am! Frisk growls out at the rain and jerks around to pace the length of the house. Dunno how else to get all the sparking energy out. But I don’t care! I don’t care when I go away. It’s dark and nothing and whatever ‘cause it’s like the time wasn’t real when I come back. I care when you go away! Forever and I can’t hear you feel you ANYTHING, and now you wanna never come back again!

But it is not like that, Frisk. Chara’s tone goes sharp. I do not ‘go away.’ I choose to pull back, to let myself fade, to give you your life—Frisk, you are the one who vanishes. You left for a month! I thought I had killed you, and now you are saying you don’t care?

I DO care! Frisk shrieks. About you!!!

Frisk, and oh their name from Chara’s thoughts-voice-signs is like burning, not warmth-burning but the sort of burning that’s so hot it’s cold actually. ‘cause it’s like distance, and Chara isn’t suppose to be that far away! Is supposed to have a name for THEM, just-theirs, because this is just-theirs and they never want that to change, and they’re burning cold inside. Frisk, listen to me. This is your life. Not mine.

Don’t SAY THAT! Frisk throws themself right out of the house and into the rain, and oh that’s cold and sharp-biting and the wind stings their eyes, and the rain too, but it’s HERE, them and Chara both here and they can’t Not feel the cold, the wet, here here here here here. I don’t wanna live if you aren’t there too! I love you, Chara! I, I, I…

They come stumbling to a stop there in the rain, panting, slumped over. I love you, but it sounds pathetic and small even to them, ‘n maybe that’s it. Maybe they’re always too much forever and ever. ‘course Chara doesn’t love them back.

Milkweed, Chara says, and something flutters warm and faint in their gut. No, Milkweed, don’t…of course I care for you. I care for you so deeply, Milkweed, there is…not another person I consider more important than you. I want you to be safe. To live your life, free of all sorrows, full of so much joy. And for you to do that, I cannot be weighing you down.

They sniff. But why?

Milkweed—

No, why? Frisk shakes their head, but it’s raining too hard for that to help really. Probably Chara wants them to go back where it’s kinda safe. Instead they tilt their head all the way back, keep their eyes open wide, to stare up at dark thunderclouds blotting out the sky. They can’t see the moon or stars or anything. Only light from the road kinda-far sometimes. Like blurred smears of gold. Cause I want you, Chara. I want you with me always. And. ‘n I dunno why you can’t just…

They sit down. It’s gross and wet and when they rub at their eyes that’s gross and wet too. Chara’s smothering their heart.

Frisk sniffs. I love you. There’s nothing else they know how to say. No other words they could form. They press their middle two fingers down, pinky, index, thumb left splayed across their skin. “I love you.” Please stay.

Rain falls. Stars are dark. Chara says nothing at all, ‘n Frisk doesn’t know what to do, just knows they aren’t enough. Never enough for this, when it’s the most important thing in the world, and they dunno really when they start crying, just know when they taste their tears all salty, joining the raindrops that trace lines down their face.

They don’t want Chara to ever go away.

They aren’t going to be enough to make Chara stay.

When they wrap their arms around themself it’s cold, but still they grip themself like to let go is to lose everything and maybe it is, they dunno, all they know is rain and cold and wind and probably thunder, and lightning lights the sky briefly, like veins under skin, which is a thought they only have ‘cause they’ve shared a brain with Chara for so long and that makes the tears worse. Somewhere kinda they feel Chara, like a faint ghost hovering but ghost, and xe doesn’t do anything and that’s worse too, and EVERYTHING is bad, and the ground is gross and the rain is stupid and heavy and and and—

Something gold pops up right in front of them and Frisk jumps, before the shape solidifies itself into Flowey, signing in his modified leaf-signs, “are you going to die out here, or go back where it’s at least somewhat safe?”

Frisk sniffles, rubbing at their eyes. Out here Flowey’s petals are plastered down, and he’s mostly stuck close to the dirt, thorns prickling all up and down his stem which they know is Flowey for annoyed. Their hands are heavy when they sign, “only if Chara makes me.”

Flowey sighs. They don’t hear it but they see it, the over-dramatic way his petals and leaves droop, how he practically staggers to flop across their knee, and it draws a faint giggle out of them, as Flowey pats their knee with a leaf like he’s telling them something so big and important.

A leaf that, they realize, as he jabs at them to look, he’s also using to shelter their phone, which, while the screen is coated in raindrops—and a lot of dirt—they can see him typing, wiping the water away, I have no clue what you’re arguing about in there.

Yes, Chara says, xir voice dry, that is very obvious.

Again Frisk giggles, twitches, managing to sign, “Chara thinks you’re being silly.”

Flowey puffs out his petals, but in the rain it still looks sad and heavy. He continues to poke away at the keys. Chara doesn’t know what xe’s talking about. It’s a long sort of silence they wait in. But Frisk doesn’t mind so much. That’s why you dragged me out here, isn’t it? Chara’s ready to kick it and you won’t let xir.

Crass, says Chara. Frisk says, “I won’t let Chara die.”

That’s obvious. Flowey studies them for a moment, and his next text has a few more spelling errors than the rest, though Frisk knows what he’s trying to say. Well, ignore me all you want. I don’t really care if you stick around or not. But, Chara…

The message stops there, and Frisk follows Flowey’s gaze up to the sky, where a bit of moonlight is poking through the dark clouds. It’s not so cold now, like it was before. Though the rain still pours, and Frisk’s phone is still rain-soaked. But its dim light displays the rest of Flowey’s words. I like being around. I’d rather be this than not here at all. I’ve got a whole world to torment now!  

Flowey fires a stars blazing up at the sky, and the magic bursts apart into so many colors above them, itty-bitty stars in rainbow colors reflecting off all the raindrops. When the colors start to fall, he nudges their leg to show them their phone with his next message. I bet some random human driving by is going to be trying to explain that for the rest of their life. You don’t get gold like this Underground!

Frisk claps their hands together. Chara says, that does not inspire confidence.

But it’s good, Frisk says, stretching up to catch a bit of magic in their hand. It doesn’t hurt, is just warm and fizzy there in their palm, flashing red-orange-yellow, green-blue-purple, all the rainbow and back again. Chara, can’t you see? It’s so good up here.

It is not mine, Chara says, as the magic fades away.

But I want it to be yours. Out here Frisk tastes the rain, feels Flowey scratchy against their leg, but that’s not so annoying anymore. Even the wet ground isn’t, the mud, the tears probably crusty on their face, but then again the water washes all that away. Through gaps in the clouds they can see the stars, shining points of light holding on. Mine and yours. I dunno how we work, Chara. And yeah, I guess it’s kinda scary when I go away, but…but this is yours too now. Your body, not just mine. And maybe we gotta figure out how it works. Not by hiding and being scared, but by DOING. Then we know how to make it less scary.

Frisk…

Frisk knits their hands together, the closest they ever get to holding Chara’s hand. We’ve got so much more world to see. Please see it with me?

For a long scary moment Chara is quiet. But then xe says, a warmth blooming in Frisk’s chest, alright, Milkweed. I’ll think about it.

They don’t stay out in the rain forever. Pretty as it is they do reach a point where they will die actually if they keep getting soaked, and besides Flowey is complaining, but Chara is there still as they return to the old burnt-out house, and sitting underneath its roof they watch the rain splish-splash on the ground, the way drops of water fall and come back up. Chara is there still when they take their phone from Flowey and turn up the volume loud as it goes, and mostly they can only hear the loudest bits of the music, but Chara hums along for them. Offers them advice when Flowey finds a stick to draw out a tic-tac-toe board. Doesn’t accept Frisk’s nudging to play a game of xir own but does tell Frisk where to put the pieces, and laughs when xe wins, bright-warm and blooming.

There on their back pretending like they can see stars through the gaps in the roof and the clouds, Frisk half-dozes as they listen to Chara humming along to the song, in some warm-fuzzy betweenspace where they think maybe if they really pretend it’s like they’re curled up in Chara’s lap, xir hands petting through their hair.

We share a heart of gold, goes the song, light and easy, we are a body of broken bones…when were we ever alone? Together, we’ll make our way home…

That’s like us! Frisk hums, brightly.

You should stop putting so much stock in songs, Milkweed, says Chara.

Frisk sticks out their tongue, I know you do too.

Ha. Perhaps. Chara’s quiet for a moment. Are you sure this is what you want to do?

Keep you with me? At Chara’s hum of agreement, they continue, duh. Forever and ever.

You are something else, Milkweed, Chara says, and Frisk squeals, wanting to wrap that around them forever. And then, …Mother doesn’t know we’re out here, does she?

…OH, Frisk yelps, scrambling up, grasping for their phone that Flowey took to play games on, shrieking, “MOMMA!”

“Oh shit,” Flowey says, laughing, as Frisk mashes the button to facetime Momma and so many missed calls when did that happen, oh wow they even have a text from SANS Momma must’ve called like everybody all-over, and Flowey is still laughing when they call, and Frisk is, too, sorta, and even Chara, when Frisk tells xir, this is your fault!

I know, Chara says, I know, Milkweed. Let’s do better next time.

Everything is, in the end, okay. Momma’s worried and sure maybe Frisk feels a bit bad about that, about how she woke up and them and Flowey weren’t there and she was very upset to find them so far away in a burnt-up house, but through it all Chara’s there, warm and alive in the back of Frisk’s brain, so everything else is kinda pale and foggy when held up against that. But they promise Momma not to wander off again, and don’t complain as she fusses over them, and with Flowey tell her kinda why they wandered off.

“Had to find something,” is what Frisk settles on. Maybe one day they can tell her what! But Chara doesn’t wanna say, and they won’t do that to xir. Having Chara just to themself is kinda good actually. Like yes they wanna tell the entire world about Chara ‘cause Chara is the best, but also it’s a fluttery sorta secret, and it makes Chara laugh, and that’s best-of-all.

Don’t worry, Chara says, you’ll always be my favorite kid.

Frisk beams at that.

They get back on the road, after another few days, and THAT’S real fun, and Frisk rolls down their window and sticks their head out just to taste the wind, shriek out joy into the air. Flowey joins them and blasts magic ‘til Momma says maybe let’s not because what if someone gets hurt. So Flowey blasts very tiny magic bullets at Frisk and they scuffle in the back with Chara narrating like this is something big and grand and not Frisk throwing candy wrappers at Flowey. At least until they run out.

When Frisk’s finally slumped back in their seat and remembered OH WAIT RIGHT MUSIC, poking Flowey ‘til he hands them the cord to plug into their phone, they pause there staring at their playlists, a faint sorta pressure in their hand that isn’t them.

CHARA!!!

Do not, says Chara, get used to this. But can I…?

Yes!!! Frisk flaps their hands, or, Chara can taste their energy and does it FOR THEM! And!! Frisk doesn’t go anywhere!!! Chara moves but they’re with xir, and yes everything has gone tense from xir but Frisk is living, and they say, Chara you aren’t running away!

I think I want to, says Chara, but…I am trying. Briefly. Again, I refuse to make this a thing. I do not understand why you want this to become a thing. But…trying. Xe scrolls through Frisk’s very long list of every single song on their phone ever, past a bunch of songs xe added, and tap one in particular. Frisk does have hearing aids today so they can hear as the song comes on, loud and fast and energetic and hey this is one of THEIRS, one of their songs they like ‘cause of the way they feel it deep in their soul, beating in-sync.

Hey wait! Frisk bounces in their seat as the chorus kicks in, troublemaker, where you off to now? flapping their hands. This is mine!!! From!!! Wow so long ago! When we found out about the road trip! And now we’re ON IT!!

Yes, Chara says, it has…grown on me, I suppose.

Frisk ticks the volume up. Outside the world sprawls on, so big and grand and wide. They kinda dunno where actually they are, have no idea where they’re going, but they do know Chara with them, the music loud in their soul, don’t die, you’re just a baby, yeah you’re way too young…you haven’t lived ‘til you’ve been to the Grand Canyon…

You aren’t gonna go away anymore, Frisk asks, leaning their head against the window, so now they’ve got the song and the roar of the road and everything all together, stretching their hands out in front of them. Right?

Their hands press together, holding themselves. Frisk grins at that.

I am here to stay, Milkweed, Chara says. If that is what you want.

Frisk nods, squeezing their own hand just a bit harder. A pressure that is theirs and not-theirs—theirs and Chara’s. Yeah, they say, grinning, yeah. I love you too.