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“Because my Nemi is the sweetest person in the world…”
Were the last words that came from his brother’s mouth. No matter how much Sanemi pleaded with the gods not to take away his little brother. It seems his words fell on deaf ears. No one was going to save his brother. His last family member was going to die.
“No, no!” Sanemi shouts, “Please, don’t take my brother away!” He tries to grasp on anything to keep his brother close to him. He hugs his brother tightly, sobbing. He shouts, no matter how much his vocal cords strain from his screaming. However, his shouts only fall to deaf ears.
He couldn’t stop his brother’s body from crumbling into dust. Tears ran down his face as he could only onto his brother’s yukata.
The physical pain he felt was incomparable to the pain he felt right now. He didn’t care how much blood he was losing, how damaged his body was, none of that matter. Not when he lost his only brother, his only living family was now dead.
It was all his fault.
Sanemi clutched tightly on his brother’s clothing, sobbing. He almost doesn’t hear Gyomei looming over, telling to raise his head. They needed to keep going. This fight isn’t over until Muzan is dead. If Sanemi would’ve been focused, he would’ve heard the tumor in Gyomei’s voice.
It felt as if he blanked out. He felt disconnected from his body. He sees himself fighting, but he doesn’t feel the pain anymore. Even when Muzan’s poison almost kills him or when he and the rest of the Hashira were blasted away by Muzan’s screams, the pain felt nothing.
No physical pain could describe the pain he felt mentally.
As Muzan’s body crumbled, Sanemi couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. It was over. The fight was over. Muzan’s dead. Exhaustion finally settles in his bones as he had nothing to stop himself from tipping forward, finally succumbing to his injuries.
Even as he falls unconscious, all he could feel is the wet tears that ran down his cheeks. It was all dawning down on him. All he could think about his baby brother. All he could think about was Genya.
…How unfair life is.
Why Genya?
Why did he have to lose his baby brother?
As the thoughts rushed through his mind, all he could think about is how much of a failure he was. He couldn’t protect his little brother. He couldn’t save Genya.
What a terrible brother he was?
If only…if only he had another chance.
Maybe in another life, he would’ve saved his brother from dying. He would give up everything for Genya to live.
He would rather die if it meant Genya gets to live.
Then everything went black.
Suddenly, he was awake.
“Hm…Demon slayer brothers, how nostalgic…”
That ever-so voice made Sanemi freeze. ‘What?’ Lavender eyes only stare at the demon in front of him. Upper Moon One was alive. He was standing in a distance. He hasn’t unsheathed his sword. As he tried to focus on the demon, his eyes fell shortly to his hands. He had all his fingers. He hasn’t lost the two from the fight. He doesn’t see his poorly done stitches.
His mind was running wild.
Before he could spiral any further, there was a voice behind him. One that only grew this helpless feeling, a feeling so foreign, practically indescribable.
“Aniki…”
As he turned his head, he sees Genya lay on the ground. His baby brother was injured, missing his arms, but he was alive. No doubt to the demon’s regeneration. Still, with no doubt, Genya’s alive. It felt like he was choking, suffocating in his own air. A part of him doesn’t care if this was a sick demented dream. He doesn’t care because his baby brother is okay.
Sanemi dropped his blade shortly by his side as he rushes to embrace his little brother.
Genya’s scent. Genya’s beating heart was comfort for Sanemi’s entire being. This felt so real.
Even as Genya remained confused, shocked by the embrace, he couldn’t find the words to ruin this moment. This is all he wanted. To finally be back with his Nemi. How long has it's been since he shared a warming hug with his older brother. Genya wishes he could’ve returned the hug, but his arms were a distance from him. Hopefully, after this battle, he’ll finally be able to hug his Nemi.
For now, they needed to deal with demon.
Sanemi knew this. Real or not. He won’t let this demon take his brother away. He pulls away from the hug. Moving his hands Genya’s face, he pleas.
“Genya, please, please stay safe,” he begs. It sounded so unlike him, and yet, he didn’t care.
Genya wanted to protest, but he saw that look in his brother’s eyes. Tears glossed his Nemi’s eyes as his grip was so light. It would’ve been harsh, but that was unlike his Nemi. His Nemi was always so sweet. He was just like their Mama. So sweet and tender. Always so caring.
So…without a second thought, Genya nods his head.
His brother’s touch falters as he struggled to pull away. Genya didn’t understand. As his brother grasps his sword, Sanemi kept looking back as if he was going to disappear if he wasn’t looking. His stance was trembling and weak before tightening up. With one last look at Genya, Sanemi rushes forward to take on the Upper Moon One.
The battle passes just as he remembers. Gyomei finally arrives, joining the fight. It goes unsaid that the Stone Pillar begins to notice that Sanemi fights as if he’s lost everything as if he had nothing left to live for.
That frightened him.
Sanemi needed to figure out what attack landed the finishing blow on his brother. He tried to figure out what he can do to keep up with this demon’s speed, so his little brother wouldn’t have to digest high amounts of demon flesh. However, all this leads to is more injuries. Injuries, Sanemi can’t afford to get.
The blood lost felt too much.
This time, Kokushibo managed to strike at his ear and cheek, cutting off his ear as it was a horrid pain as it cuts his cheek. His blood was pouring, despite him using his breathing technique. If he can’t control this, he’s going to die before he even gets the chance to save Genya.
‘C’mon, c’mon, you have to keep going!’
He keeps shouting to himself. He forces himself to keep going. Every part of him wants to focus on Genya, but he couldn’t, not with Kokushibo’s attacks. The crescents felt like sharp daggers dragging through his skin. It was threatening to slice him in half.
He was a Hashira for fuck’s sake. He needs to keep going. No matter the pain. And then he blanks out as the final strike hits. It forces him back. All he could hear Genya shouting his name. Sanemi wanted to shout, reminding Genya to stay away from the fight.
But he couldn’t.
How pathetic.
Even as he woke up, all he sees is the familiar scene. The one that has haunted him ever since. He forces himself onto his knees by his brother’s side, ignoring how his body is begging for him to rest. He didn’t. Tears were running down his cheeks.
“N-No, Genya please!” Sanemi clutched his brother tightly to his chest. All of this hurt so badly. When he thought something had changed, it all led to the same.
As he begged for Genya not to leave, all it leads to is hearing those same words uttered to him.
How could Genya even say that to him?
This was his second chance, and he couldn’t save his brother. What kind of brother was he?
He was a pathetic one.
“I-I-I’m so sorry, Genya.”
Then he was awake again. It’ll be the same moment. The same chance he long-so thought was fake. This reality he kept reliving as if the gods above of him were mocking, as if they got kick out of watching him struggle to save his brother.
Practically a noose looming over his head, reminding him all his actions lead to absolutely nothing. He’ll never be enough to save his brother. His brother was destined to die, all because he was weak. Each failure leads him to waking up to hearing the same fucking phrase.
“Hm…Demon slayer brothers, how nostalgic…”
That same phase was the first thing he’ll hear whenever he wakes up. Everything else would change depending on his actions, except they all lead to the same fate.
Genya dies.
All the same way as he dies saying his last words to his Nemi.
How many times?
How many times is he going to watch his brother die?
Sanemi felt numbed. He can’t even remember what number this was. He’s been fighting for so long. His grip falters around his blade’s hilt. What can he even do to stop this time loop? Or was he doomed to always watch his brother die? Was this his punishment? No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop this loop.
What was it going to take?
That was until it hit him. There was last thing he could try. One choice he hasn’t tried. He gritted his teeth. If this didn’t work, it would be purely suicidal. He dashes forward before Gyomei and Muichiro could.
“Follow me!” Sanemi shouts.
Muichiro was surprised. It was the plan he was going to tell the others. It appears him and the Wind Hashira were thinking the same thing.
It hits Gyomei what Sanemi is planning. “You heard him!” Both Muichiro and Gyomei dashed forward, avoiding the moon crescents coming from Kokushibo’s attacks.
‘If this works…Genya is going to be okay.’ Is the only thought that goes through him. No longer did he care about his own safety.
“Fucking die!” Sanemi moves forward, stabbing the demon in his side. He won’t lose this time. He won’t! He’ll help Muichiro. He’ll keep the blast from hitting them. He won’t lose! He won’t let his brother die. He’ll kill this bastard! He’ll kill him!
Kokushibo felt the burning pain course through him. As his multiple eyes casted downwards, he sees the Wind Hashira, his green blade was burning red. It was keeping him pinned down. It didn’t help that the damn slayer using demon techniques was keeping him down with the demonic roots.
He tries, desperately, to move away, until his eyes move upwards. The heavy footsteps were rapidly approaching him.
No! No!
His descendant and the Stone Hashira were coming for his neck. With a last-ditch effort, he unleashes a blow. However, it came unexpected when the Wind Hashira had turned the direction of his attack by pulling his blade to stab through the demon’s mouth. It shocked him as he could hear Sanemi’s wrist crack at the sudden pressure.
“Shut up, you damn bastard!”
Then the blast finally hits him.
“Nemi!”
Genya shouts when his brother was launched away as he moves away from the pillar. Narrowly did he miss the attack as it slices the pillars. Blood trailed from where his brother was. His sword was on the ground as the red was fading.
He needed to rush over to his brother’s side, but…Gyomei and Muichiro needed him.
‘Please, Nemi, please hang on,’ Genya begs. He forces his strength in his blood technique to keep the demon down. He needs to give his teacher and Muichiro a fighting chance. He knows they’ll be able to decapitate the demon. It was all up to them to land the final blow.
In one last ditch effort, Gyomei swung his spiked flail at the demon’s head. Muichiro used all his strength to slide the demon’s head, striking Mr. Himajima’s weapon. A dark red spark marked their weapons at the impact, cutting the demon’s head off.
Moving quickly, they fixed their stances.
Muichiro and Gyomei panted heavily. Muichiro kept his breathing in order. He couldn’t panic. He couldn’t let his breathing get out of hand. Already he’s lost enough blood, it was difficult for him to hold his blade with one hand, but he was going to keep going.
They thought the battle would be finished, that was until Genya shouted.
“The bleeding stopped!” Muichiro’s eyes widened as the demon’s head was slowly regrowing.
“It regrew its head!” Muichiro shouts, panic flushes across his senses. Gyomei grits his teeth. “We need to keep going! Keep fighting! Genya, we need you to fight with us!” Genya hesitated. He needs to check on his brother. How long ago was it since he saw his older brother get knocked away by the blast.
That cutting blast that sliced up the pillars.
Still, Genya moves. He picks up his Aniki’s sword. He could barely use anymore demon techniques. It was finally weighing down on him from consuming so much.
As he begins rushing forward, the shining glint from his brother’s green sword was shown to the Upper Moon. It made Kokushibo stop as he finally catches his reflection. Genya grows shocked, seeing the Upper Moon’s body begin to crumble.
Genya almost relaxes once Upper Moon One was disappearing into to dust. That was until he was reminded of his brother, he rushes to find his brother. However, once he found his brother, his grip around his Nemi’s sword falters before dropping to the ground.
“Nemi!”
He falls to his knees by his brother’s side. Sanemi was breathing heavily, unable to control his breathing. He can’t feel his body. He can’t figure out where he’s bleeding. Genya was panicking. He could see his brother’s insides. He could see how deep the cuts were on his brother’s chest, arms, legs, and his face.
No stitches could stop this kind of bleeding.
Sanemi can’t breathe.
His air felt depleted. Did his lungs get shredded by the blast? Still, he tries to speak, no matter how much his lungs hurt.
“G-Genya…” It sounded too weak.
Genya forces himself out of his thoughts. He needed to do something. He needed to help his brother. He removed his yukata, using it to apply pressure on Sanemi’s chest. “N-Nemi, I’m right here. P-Please, you need to stay with me. Just, focus on me. You’re going to be okay.”
His vision felt blurry. Sanemi could see the clear panic on his brother’s face. He could see the tears running down his cheeks. Sanemi wanted to ask why was he crying? He should be happy. Then again, his baby brother always thought of others than himself.
His baby brother is so kind.
Just like their Mama.
Wet tears slide down Genya’s cheeks, wetting Sanemi’s face. Pale, lavender eyes could barely focus on his brother, they were fluttering. Sanemi sees tears going down his cheeks while Genya was trying to apply pressure on the bleeding. He was shouting something.
It sounded like static.
Was this what Genya heard before?
Still, Sanemi smiles, faintly. “You’re such an incredible baby brother…I’m so sorry for being a terrible brother…I wish I could’ve been a better brother for you…but you’re safe, Genya. Your Nemi is happy…” His voice didn’t sound like his own.
Was this enough to end the time loop? Sanemi wanted to laugh. As bitter as fate was, he was fine with dying. He feels so disconnected from his body. Can he even move his bloody hand from Genya’s face? His body felt so numb. No longer did the pain hurt. All he can do is smile at the thought of his little brother being alive.
If he was to die, then he was okay with it. If it meant his baby brother could live, he’ll sacrifice himself without no hesitation.
A part of him wishes he could’ve been able to see Genya grow up into a fine man as he is now, but he’s satisfied.
Genya’s alive.
That’s all he wanted.
His hand drops from Genya’s face. His bloody handprint remained on Genya’s cheek. Horror crossing Genya’s features.
“No, no!” Genya shakes his head. “Nemi, please!” He begs. “You weren’t a terrible brother! You weren’t!” He stops applying pressure, ignoring how his hands were coated in his brother’s blood. He begins shouting, moving his hands to his brother’s face. “Nemi, Nemi, you can’t do this! You can’t do this to me! Please, please, don’t leave me!”
Genya sobs, “Please! Please don’t take my Aniki away!” He cradles his brother’s head to his chest. He prays to the gods not to take his brother away. His Aniki didn’t deserve this! “My Nemi is the sweetest person in the world! He doesn’t deserve this!”
He chokes on his sobs, cradling his brother’s head. He keeps his grip tight on his brother. He needs to keep his brother warm. He feels too cold. He sinks his face into his brother’s blood-stained hair.
“Genya, raise your head up. We need to keep going,” Gyomei interrupts. His voice is tight and sorrowful. “This…this fight doesn’t end until Muzan is defeated.” His heart felt heavy. His student was sobbing, clutching his dead brother.
“I-I can’t leave him,” Genya tries. “He’s going to wake up and he’s going to be alone. I-I can’t leave him alone.” Gyomei stops himself from approaching as Muichiro steps in.
“Genya…we need to get going. We’ll come back for him. I promise you.” Muichiro won’t say how he knew how it felt to lose a brother. He only grabs Genya’s hand to lead him away. Genya holds tightly on his brother’s fallen sword.
They can’t stop.
They need to keep going.
The fight doesn’t end until Muzan is dead.
Up above, a white-haired boy is playing with his younger siblings, happy to be with them. As they sit in the field, the older brother watches the beautiful sunset as the river flows calmly. Still, his gaze warily when his mind drifts to his younger brother. He knows Genya will join them soon, but that won’t be now.
Not when Genya gets to live his life to the fullest.