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The subreddit itself wasn't incriminating.
It was titled r/thabearzforthastreetz with the description "For those lucky and/or unlucky few (MANY) to gossip and support ***CONFIDENTIAL SUBREDDIT*** If anyone leaks any info or screenshots this subreddit will be deleted. If you think you belong in this subreddit, send u/patanama a dm with His drink of choice."
Shane stared at the screen, trying to dechiper why he was there.
He understood how he got there, logistically. He was snooping. He rarely snooped, if ever. After years of friendship - he could call it friendship at this point, Shane was sure - and half a decade of sleeping together, Shane knew tons about Ilya Rozanov, right from the source.
Every once in a while, someone would mention Rozanov's newest sexcapade, or some trouble he got himself into down in Boston, and Shane would smile politely, agree that Rozanov was probably being an idiot, and move on.
And maybe sometimes Shane would use Google, or YouTube, or Twitter to get an idea of what people were talking about. People talk about lots of things, of course. Sometimes it was Rozanov. Sometimes Shane would take a gander.
Most times, though, that's all he would do. Skim. See a few new pictures, read a few old opinions, and then move on. He wasn't obsessed. If anything, Shane was obsessed with not being obsessed with Rozanov.
It had started innocently enough; The Metros had just won back to back Stanley Cups, the Raiders were looking good in the preseason. It made sense for Shane to dig into Rozanov's behavior over the summer, watch a few compilation videos, see what the fans had to say about their capitan.
He did not expect for it to snowball from a YouTube comment about Rozanov to a tweet about Rozanov to a reddit post about Rozanov and Shane definitely did not expect that he would scour every single reply for information.
Someone commented that she had slept with Rozanov. Someone else sent her a link. That link led to a subreddit of a collection of women whom Rozanov had slept with. That was cool. And Shane felt normal.
He chanced a glance at his bedside alarm clock and winced. It was almost one in the morning - practically the middle of the night.
Shane took his glasess off and dropped them in their case, turned out the lamp, and scootched down in bed under the covers to get himself comfortable.
Except.
Except his laptop was still open on his chest. R/thabearzforthastreetz locked away. Behind only the knowledge of what Ilya Rozanov's drink of choice was.
Shane hiked his laptop further up his chest until his bottom lip was jutting out over the trackpad.
His account was locked down. He never commented or posted, let alone used his real name or face. He was a lurker, he'd heard that word before. He could lurk.
Chat with u/patanama
u/itshockeylyfe91 His drink of choice is vodka.
Shane felt exhilarated. Terrified. He had goosebumps down his arms and his face flushed. This was so dumb. The moderator probably wasn't going to be up - nobody in their right might would be up at this hour on a Friday, let alone up waiting for reddit DMs -
Ping!
u/patanama Correct, but easy. What's his favorite beer?
Shane definitely didn't squeak when the notification came through, and regardless, the frown that took over his face brought him back down anyway. Shane couldn't remember ever seeing Rozanov reach for a beer. He knew that he did drink beer, hypothetically, he just didn't know the brand. Maybe he was overestimating their relationship/friendship/whatever-ship. Their hook-up-every-few-months-ship.
u/itshockeylyfe91 Still vodka. Lol
u/patanama Correct!!! Haha okay next question
Shane let out a heavy sigh of relief that he didn't even realize he was holding. He knew Rozanov. He knew him. Maybe not better than anyone, but most. Probably. If Shane was feeling selfish.
u/patanama What's his favorite position?
Shane groaned a little, frowning down at his screen. He knew why everyone was here. And it wasn't like he was jealous. If he was that jealous over Ilya Rozanov he would have thrown himself off a roof years ago.
But that didn't mean he had to like it.
And what the hell would these people know about Rozanov's favorite position anyway? Shane figured that they were all casual - at least as casual as he and Rozanov were. Couldn't get more casual than that, really. But maybe they were usually more - a whole subreddit full of girls who have had more with Rozanov.
That's fine. Shane could live with that.
Shane would not throw himself off the roof.
Instead, Shane thought back to each and every time he and Rozanov shared a bed. Or a couch. Or a shower.
He couldn't imagine Rozanov even having a favorite. He likes everything - maybe it was another trick question?
But, Shane thought, slowing down, there were all those times, secretly Shane's favorites, where Rozanov would tuck his face under his chin, hold him so so close, like they were trying to press into each others' skin right then and there.
Shane thought of how hard Rozanov would come, how he would goad Shane on, how he would laugh and play and be soft and sweet and it would either become the next hottest thing they've ever done or just be fucking fun.
u/itshockeylyfe91 Missionary.
Shane smiled.
u/patanama Whooooops babe thats the only wrong answer
u/patanama Roz doesn't do missionary. Girl you are not special 😂😂
u/patanama Good luck wannabe puck bunny🖕 blocked
Shane frowned.
"What the fuck?"
He said it aloud to no one. No one responded.
He refreshed the page and found himself not only unable to DM u/patanama, but unable to see the subreddit at all.
Shane wasn't pouting, really. If Rozanov was there, he'd say he was pouting, but he wasn't. So. Not pouting.
Instead, Shane slammed his laptop closed and dropped it - placed it - on the floor next to his bed before laying back down.
He stared at the ceiling. The ceiling stared back.
Roz doesn't do missionary.
Yes, he does. Usually, even. All the time.
Wasn't that the boring one? Shane had heard the jokes, he knew it was shorthand for standard, run-of-the-mill, boring sex.
What kind of Kama Sutra type of intercourse were these women having with Rozanov? They were probably too occupied performing incredible feats of sexual prowess to even consider missionary.
And Rozanov only did missionary with Shane because it was boring. Shane was boring. Boring, boring, boring.
That's how casual this was to Rozanov, that Shane was the only one he'd do missionary with.
Welp, that solved that. Goodnight, everybody, pack it up, the show's over.
Shane rolled over and tried to sleep - really, if he didn't get any rest now he'd be a monster at his morning workout - and now that he was nicely curled into bed without his laptop keeping him up, he could fall asleep.
Any minute now.
Surely the phone being held two inches away from his face wouldn't interfere with a good night's rest.
It's just that -
That was an unfair question! Maybe he could even make a second reddit account, explain the miscommunication, get into the subreddit and see what everyone else is talking about. Just to know.
What else do they have more of?
They probably talk about how much time they get to spend with him in there. Days, Shane imagined. Rozanov probably doesn't even have a hotel room when they travel. Why would he? He could just use his Toronto girlfriend's apartment. Then his Detroit girlfriend's house -
For a brief moment, Shane considered that Rozanov had a roadie boyfriend's house, but physically flinched away from the thought like he'd touched a hot stove. No. Moving on.
They probably also left the house. It wasn't like Rozanov was never papped with strange women. It happened often, if not weekly sometimes. They probably went out for brunch and bowling and mini-golf and the libraries.
Shane hadn't gone on many dates since high school, but he figured it was mostly still stuff like that.
They probably talked about things other than hockey. Probably had more in common. Probably funnier. Probably sexier. More comfortable. Safer.
It wasn't until Shane felt a tear escape from his eyelash that he even realized he had worked himself up so far.
He took a deep breath in, hating how much it shuddered, and let it gust out as he flipped back onto his back.
He was fine. He was okay. He felt a little like there was a hole punch through his chest.
Shane brought his phone to his face again. Rozanov was probably awake anyway.
Lily
What's your favorite position?
Center
Don't be an asshole
? Wtf did I do
You know what I mean.
Oh
wow
Jane Shmollander
Are you sexting me right now?
Nevermind BYE!!!!
Noooo no noo no no come back
You thought I was up in the middle of the night thinking about hockey?
1 is not the middle of the night it is 130
2 absolutely yes
But to be fair can also be sexting for you
Asshole
Anyway
So…..?
So what? you snap your fingers and Im just supposed to start the sexting now
I asked you a question already
Serious question? I thought maybe a joke
Okay
Well I like all of them with you ;)
You like all of them?
Yes :)
There aren't any that you don't like?
Or you don't usually do?
Like maybe you like it but you only do it when it's like, whatever?
Ok now I'm confused this is less sexting more like
I'm on trial
You're not on trial.
Ok
But like if you had to pick one.
Shmollander i really don't have one
Stop calling me that!!
Sorry
Lol
What's up
What do you mean "what's up"?
I said what's up already I asked you a question you're not answering it
I just mean like
What's going on. whats wrong
It seems like something is wrong
Maybe
Nothing is wrong!!!
Just tell me a position you like.
With you?
Yes
Or no wi
no yeah Yes with me
I like when I have you on your back at the edge of the bed with your legs over my shoulders
And I'm bending you in half while I fuck you so hard I get to watch you cry
Does that count as missionary?
Uh
I think so
What about missionary in general?
What about it?
Do you like it?
Yes, it's very sexy
Yeah? All the time? With anyone?
Well sometimes not
It can be too much
We do it
Is it too much then?
No
I like it when it is too much with you
But not with other people??
Hollander what is going on
Stop using my name!!!
Did something happen?
Shane slammed his phone down onto the bed.
No, nothing happened. Of course nothing happened. He didn't have to tell Rozanov anything. He didn't have to justify his questions. His totally normal questions about Rozanov's sex life, and he was totally pulling off the sexting angle, anyway.
Dammit. He could do this.
Lily
Never mind don't worry about it
Anyway
I love that position too
I wish you had me like that right now
Wtf
No way Hollander
STOP USING MY FUCKING NAME
Whats wrong
Tell me
Nothing!!
I will leave this club so i can call you if you don't tell me
You're out at a club??
And you were going to sext me?!!
Yea lol
Now tell me whats the problem
It's not a problem
……
But…..
I
Read something
Right
You can't ask where I read it
Or how
Okay
Or make fun of me
Come on
I read that the girls you sleep with say that you never do missionary but we do it all the time and i figured it was just because were really casual probably more casual than other people you see and also its boring so it would make sense that we do it but I was just wondering because they said you never did that and I was like what and I was nosy maybe just wanted to know if it was true but I was just checking basically
Basically
So
Anyways
Moving on
You think missionary is boring?
No
I mean people do
You always call me boring
But its also just casual too so
Right.
You do a lot of missionary with all the guys you are having casual sex with?
Yes. Sure. All the time
Really?
Yeah like so casual I don't even know their names usually
And also not just guys
Ohhh okay
You're lying
Thank god
I'm not lying!
No its ok!! It's better you're lying
I'm not lying
Why is it better that I'm lying
I'm lying
I know
Missionary is not casual
What
Do you mean
Is a little too intimate for casual
Very intimate
Oh
Hollander Ive been touching you for 5 years
I want to watch your face
Just different kind of casual
I meet a woman at a club for 2 seconds maybe it's too intimate
That's all
Right
That makes sense actually
Can I tell you something
Sure.
Yes you are boring
Sex with you and me is so not boring
At all
Never was
Never could be
Okay I get it
Like if you and I were not hockey players
DONT SAY THAT HERE
We would be porn stars
Legendary
Alright
Make beer history book for most orgasms in an hour
It's Guinness Book of World Records
Nerd
You're an asshole
Do you feel better?
Yeah, actually.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
:)
You want to get off for real now?
Not if you're still out at a club. Ew
I'm not. Just got home
Oh.
Then……yes.
Give me 5 mins. look up the world records for orgasms. We will beat it
;)
Oh my god fuck off lol
SIXTEEN????
Do not even try to give me 16 orgasms in an hour I'll kill you
Rookie numbers