Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Carla?”

DS Lisa Swain called out her fiancée’s name when she arrived home from work that evening.  She was later than she had intended but she had picked up some flowers and a box of chocolates on her way back, hoping it would go some small way towards making Carla feel better over the loss of Connie.  The baby had been difficult to manage with two full time jobs and they’d been good for nothing but passing out in bed at the end of each long day.  But they had loved having her.  Carla had been shocked to discover that she was a natural, wonderful parent.  And in the small, happy moments of their days, Lisa had allowed her to imagine what life could have been.  For both of them.  For Carla, if she had been granted the opportunity to be a mother.  And for Lisa, if she had met Carla earlier and skipped Becky out completely.  They would have been the team she had only dreamt about during the course of her previous marriage.

She pulled out her phone when it beeped.

In the bath, the message said.

Smiling to herself, Lisa crossed the kitchen and busied herself with putting the flowers in water.  She kicked off her shoes and hung her jacket on the banister.  Then she took the chocolates and knocked on the bathroom door.

“If you’re Lisa, come in.  If you’re someone else, I really wouldn’t unless you want to see me naked.”

Lisa grinned and opened the door.

“I always want to see you naked,” she said, entering the room and closing the door behind her.

Her eyes roamed over Carla, laid back in the bath, hair up in a messy bun.  She crossed the room and crouched beside her, arms resting on the bath.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” Carla replied.

Lisa leant in closer and kissed her.  Her lips were soft and wet and incredibly inviting.

“Here,” she said, offering the box of chocolates.

They were Carla’s favourite.  The brunette smiled lovingly at her.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Carla said softly.  “And I’m sorry I was in a mood earlier.”

Lisa allowed herself a quiet smile.  It was one of the many things she loved about their relationship.  That they could be who they were and how they felt and the other would always be kind to them.  That they knew what they needed to do to help each other feel better.  Earlier in the week, Lisa had needed firm hugs and kind words.  Today, Carla had needed reassurance and space.

“Oh, so you were in a mood,” she teased.

Carla apologised again.  Lisa leant in and kissed her once more.

“You’re allowed to be sad, Carla,” she said.  “You love Connie.  I love Connie.  She’s become a huge part of our lives and we’re going to miss her.  She was such a joy.”

Carla smiled sadly.  She had already cried once in this bath and was fully expecting it to take over her again.

“She was,” she said.

She gazed into Lisa’s eyes for a moment.

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Propping me up,” Carla said.  “I just… I wasn’t expecting to love her, you know?”

“I know,” Lisa said.  “You didn’t want us to take her.”

“But I’m so glad you persuaded me.  I’m so glad you showed me what to do.  How to be there for her.”

Lisa put the chocolates on the floor.  She found Carla’s hand under the water.

“You would have figured it out yourself,” she said certainly.

But Carla shook her head.

“I wouldn’t have been able to,” she said.  “I wouldn’t have known how.  I didn’t know how to change nappies or warm milk or anything like that, Lisa.  But you were so lovely.  You listened.  You cared.  You stuck to your word and you showed me how to take care of her.  You’re the only person who…”

She broke off.  Tearful.  Lisa used her free hand to cup Carla’s face and brush her tears away.

“You’re the only person who has that must faith in me.  And the only partner I’ve ever had who…”

She took a moment to breathe.  Lisa waited patiently.

“The only partner I’ve ever had that supports me so completely and makes me feel so safe.”

Lisa swallowed.  She was starting to feel tearful herself now.

“Always.”

The promise was simple but it was enough to open the dam.  They both began to cry.  Lisa gathered Carla up in her arms and held her close.

“I’m getting you soaked,” Carla realised, trying to draw away.

But Lisa held firm.

“I don’t care,” she said.

She pressed a kiss to the side of Carla’s head, stroking her hands up and down her bare back.

“I love you,” Lisa said softly.

“I love you too,” Carla said.  “And I am sor…”

Lisa cut her off.  She drew away enough to look into her fiancée’s eyes.

“You don’t need to apologise,” Lisa said.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t say ‘I love you’ when you left.  We always say that.”

Lisa smiled affectionately at her.  She stroked her cheek with the back of her hand.

“I did say it,” Carla added.  “But you’d gone.”

Lisa gazed at her, full of wonder and love.

“On the upside…” Carla said, casting her eyes down to Lisa’s work shirt, which was now clinging to her.

Lisa noticed.  She smirked.

“Well, yeah,” she agreed.  “That’s true.  Because it’s been a while since we were able to…”

Carla grinned.  She kissed her urgently.

“Let me just get out and…”

“No,” Lisa said, guiding Carla to lie back again.  “Stay here.  Let me take care of you.”

The two women gazed at each other for a moment.  Lisa’s eyes travelled down from Carla’s face to her nipples poking just through the surface of the water.  She reached out one hand and cupped her right breast, teasing its peak with her thumb.  Then she moved closer, to her left one. 

Carla lay back against the bath and closed her eyes, moaning quietly at Lisa’s touch.  She couldn’t help but smile when Lisa’s hand drifted lower, beneath the bubbles.  The blonde ran her fingers over her tummy and along her thighs.  Carla parted them wider, welcoming her as she settled between her legs.

Carla moaned again, a happy smile on her face, as Lisa’s index finger slipped through her folds.

“I’ve missed you,” she breathed.

“Mmm…” Lisa said as dreamily as Carla had.  “I’ve missed you.”

Carla allowed herself to relax completely.  To comply with all of Lisa’s attention.  Lisa circled her entrance, pushing just a little inside.  She withdrew.  Carla chased the contact.  Lisa moved her finger upwards, exploring gently.

“Lise…” Carla managed.

Lisa pressed the digit to Carla’s clit, making her cry out.

“Wow,” Carla breathed.

She opened her eyes and smiled.  As expected, Lisa was preening.  She had always been one for praise.  In fact, sex was the only situation where the blonde didn’t bat compliments away.  Carla beckoned her closer.  Lisa leant in and kissed her, long and deep.  She moved her finger back down.  Carla complained audibly about the loss of contact but the moan became filthy when she added a finger and thrust deep inside her.

They continued to kiss, as Lisa swiped over her clit with her thumb.  She broke their kiss, pressing her lips to Carla’s jaw, neck and collarbone instead.  She ran her tongue along her soapy shoulders.  Her mouth hit the water, easily finding her nipple, wet and hard.  She closed her eyes, her hands continuing to work, as she nipped and sucked at her breast.

Carla felt her legs beginning to tremble, as Lisa touched her in a way that nobody ever had.  Until the November morning that Carla had said the words that had become infamous between them.

Don’t get dressed.

“Lise, I…” Carla started.

Lisa let go of her nipple, fingers never missing a beat.  She smiled lovingly at her.

“Let go for me, darling,” she whispered, pressing their mouths together again.

Carla cried out into Lisa’s mouth, her walls tightening around her fingers, as she came.  No longer caring about the state of Lisa’s work attire, Carla wrapped her arms around Lisa’s neck, pulling her closer and deepening their kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered.

Chapter Text

Carla had loved her flowers.  She’d taken them upstairs and put them on their chest of drawers, wanting to wake up to them in the morning.  They’d tucked themselves in bed with the chocolates and lots of kisses and cuddles.

Now, Carla was drunk.  So was Betsy.  When Carla had got completely stuck trying to write her vows and admitted her fear of letting Lisa down and disappointing her, Betsy had suggested alcohol was the answer.  But now, she had less writing done and more of a bottle of wine finished.

“Here she is!” Carla declared loudly when Lisa returned home from work.

The blonde stood in the doorway, staring between Carla and Betsy, who were both giggling.

“Erm… I’ve been at work all day and you two have been getting pissed?” Lisa chuckled.

“Sorry, baby!” Carla said, hauling herself up off the sofa and into Lisa’s arms.

Lisa immediately wrapped her arms around her.

“Honestly, I leave you unattended for a few hours.”

“You’ve been gone forever!  I’ve missed you!” Carla said dramatically.

Lisa chuckled and glanced over at Betsy, who shrank guiltily into the corner and continued sipping her wine.

“She really has missed you,” the teenager said.  “She’s hasn’t stopped banging on about you all day.”

“Ryan said that,” Carla said almost dreamily.

Both Swains looked confused.

“That day.  The don’t get dressed day,” Carla explained, still wrapped around Lisa.

“The what?”

Carla and Lisa both looked awkward.

“Never mind,” Betsy said quickly.  “I don’t want to know.”

“The day you threw water all over me in the pub,” Lisa said, nudging Carla forward so they could sit down together.

Betsy looked awkward.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

Lisa just laughed and cuddled Carla a little closer.  They had come a long, long way since Betsy hadn’t wanted them to be together.

“That was best sex I’ve ever had,” the brunette said dreamily.  “And every time since.  Including last night.  I loved last night!”

Betsy made a retching noise.  Then panicked as she suddenly realised she did actually feel sick.

“Hey, can we go up and have sex again?” Carla asked hopefully.

“Erm… no,” Lisa said firmly.

“Why not?” Carla pouted.

“Because you’re drunk.  And I’m not.”

Carla looked like she might cry.

“Do you have to be drunk to have sex with me?” she asked.

Lisa couldn’t help but think how sweet she looked.

“Only if you’re drunk too,” Lisa said.

“Hey, why don’t we get your Mum drunk?” Carla suggested brightly, turning back to Betsy.

“Erm… I don’t really want to facilitate you and Mum having sex.  Thanks,” Betsy said.

Carla looked emotional again.

“But…” she started.

Betsy groaned and hauled herself up off the sofa.  She headed into the kitchen, rummaging in a cupboard.  She returned with a half empty bottle of sambuca and three shot glasses.

“I must be mental,” Betsy muttered to herself.

She poured the liquid into the three glasses.  Lisa eyed them with reluctance.

“Come on!” Carla encouraged.

“All three!” Betsy added.

“What?  No…”

“Don’t you want to have sex with me?” Carla asked earnestly.

Lisa sighed and gave in.  She took each shot in turn, grimacing at the taste.

“More!” Carla said, delighted.

Betsy poured.  Lisa drank, wondering how she always gave into their demands so easily.

“How did this all happen anyway?” the blonde asked.  “When I left you were both… normal.”

“Don’t tell her I was struggling to write my vows!” Carla whispered very loudly to Betsy, who snorted.

“I think she might have heard you, Carla,” Betsy grinned.

Carla looked stricken.  Lisa took another drink.

“I didn’t hear a thing, darling,” she said.  “I promise.”

By the end of the evening, Lisa was definitely tipsy, although still not drunk like Carla was.

“Right, I’m going to bed,” Betsy decided.

She had genuinely enjoyed her evening getting pissed with her parents.  It was nice to see her Mum relax.  It was nice to see her so happy with Carla.

“Ooh, bed!” Carla said hopefully.

She hadn’t stopped flirting with her fiancée all evening.

“Yep,” Lisa agreed.

They said goodnight to Betsy.  Lisa wobbled to her feet and headed into the kitchen to pour them both a large glass of water.

“Come on, you,” she said affectionately to Carla.  “Drink up.”

Carla frowned at the glass.

“What is it?”

“Water.”

“Boring!” Carla complained.

“Geez, if this is how you are tonight, what are you going to be like for your hen tomorrow?”

Carla gazed dreamily at her.

“I wish we were having a joint hen.”

Lisa looked startled.

“Do you?”

Carla nodded.

“I hate being without you.  It’s not fun.”

Lisa hugged her.  Carla pressed a clumsy kiss to her lips.

“Right, let’s get to bed,” Lisa said, hauling Carla to her feet.

Ten minutes later, Lisa was sat on the edge of the bed.  She’d been about to start getting changed when Carla, in her underwear, straddled her lap and kissed her.

“Not tonight, my darling,” Lisa said softly, wrapping her arms around her.

“Why not?” Carla pouted.

“Because although I made a valiant effort to catch up with you, you are in no position to consent,” Lisa said.

Carla shrugged.

“Never mattered to anyone else,” she said, suddenly tearful.

Lisa reached out and brushed her tears away.

“It will always matter to me,” she said softly.

“I mean… not even just the rapists, Lisa,” she said, almost to herself.  “You’re the only one who ever… cared that much.”

“I will always care,” Lisa said, stroking her thumbs over Carla’s perfect cheekbones.  “And you and your body will always be safe with me.”

Carla hugged her tightly, burying her face in Lisa’s neck.  She had told Lisa about her past experiences when they were only a few months into their relationship.  She wasn’t sure there was anything that Lisa didn’t know about her now.  But she felt incredibly lucky to be with someone who always took such good care of her.  Who always made her feel safe.

“I love you,” she mumbled into Lisa’s neck.

“I love you too, darling,” Lisa said.  “Let’s get into bed, eh?”

Carla nodded.  They finished getting changed and climbed into bed together, meeting in the middle.

“Thank you,” Carla said quietly.

Lisa kissed her forehead and held her a little closer.  They stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

Despite her initial misgivings, Lisa had had a lovely evening.  She’d been mortified when Sally had dragged her over to the pub for Carla’s hen night.  Carla had been tipsy, although nothing like the night before and she had refused to let her leave, insisting that she joined in the fun.  And not once had she made Lisa feel stupid or pathetic for not having achieved a hen night of her own.  One of the things Lisa had been first attracted to was Carla’s confidence.  How she could walk into a room and own it.  How she had this huge number of people who knew and loved her and wanted to celebrate her.  DS Swain might have her own persona but Lisa was none of those things.  She wasn’t popular.  She didn’t make friends easily.  It was one of the reasons why Carla’s friendship had meant so much to her, all the way back in the beginning.  She had been lonely for a long time, long before Becky had ever ‘died’.

Lisa had joined in with the drinks and the games.  They had aced Mrs and Mrs and she felt quite proud of how well she and Carla knew each other.  She’d thanked Sally on the way out, for including her and Carla’s employee had looked thrilled.

“Right, I’m going up to bed,” Betsy declared when they got in.

She headed straight for the stairs, followed by Nina, who was currently sharing her room.  Carla slipped her arm around Lisa’s waist.

“Yes, I think I’ll go up too,” Roy said, awkwardly bidding them goodnight.

“Me too!” Ryan said, flopping down on the sofa, where he had been sleeping since the fire at Roy’s Rolls.  “Great night!”

“Night, Ry,” she said.

She took Lisa’s hand and hurried upstairs, eager to shut the door on the rest of the world.  Alone, Carla drew Lisa into her arms and kissed her.  Lisa encircled Carla’s neck, happily returning her kiss.

“Thanks for putting up with me tonight,” Lisa said quietly.

Carla looked aghast.

“Putting up with you?  What do you mean, putting up with you?”

“Well, tonight was meant to be your hen and…”

“And if you’d just been honest with me, it would always have been for both of us,” Carla scolded.

“Right, yeah,” Lisa scoffed.  “Carla, please can I come to your party because I don’t have a single person who would come to mine?”

Carla gazed at her for a moment.  She leant in and kissed her slowly.

“Your colleagues are muppets,” she said.

Lisa smiled shyly at her.

“You have to say that.  You’re my fiancée.”

“No, I’m your fiancée because you’re the most wonderful, amazing, beautiful person on the planet.  So, if your colleagues didn’t bother, that says much more about them than it does you.”

Lisa broke away and picked up her phone.  She set Spotify to one of their potential first dances and turned back to Carla, arms out.  Carla stepped happily into them and they began to slow dance, by themselves, by their bed.

“Does it bother you?” Lisa asked, resting her head on Carla’s shoulder.

“What?”

“That we’re so different.”

“I think our differences are part of what makes us work so well,” Carla said honestly.  “Also, that at the heart of it, we’re very similar.  How much we care.  How deeply we love.  How we allow each other to be exactly who we are.”

Lisa lifted her head and gazed into Carla’s eyes.

“I love you unconditionally,” she said.

Carla ran her hands through Lisa’s hair.

“And I love you the same,” she said softly.

“Even though I’m a billy-no-mates?”

Carla leant in and kissed her.  They’d stopped dancing and were just holding each other, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“You are perfect, exactly as you are,” she said sincerely.  “And I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

“You already do,” Lisa said.

They left the music playing, as they slowly began to undress each other, discarding their carefully chosen clothes on the floor.  Carla lay Lisa down on the bed and came to lie beside her.  She kissed her.

“You never need to lie again,” she whispered.

Lisa froze.  Memories of past lies hit her.  Hard.  She still couldn’t quite fathom that Carla had forgiven her and wanted to be her wife.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly.  “I wasn’t…”

Carla silenced her with another kiss.

“It’s not a criticism.  It’s a… an invitation,” she said, her hand drifting lower to tease Lisa’s very responsive nipple.  “To be exactly who you are and known that you’re loved unconditionally.  You’re going to be my wife in a matter of days.  You never need to save face.  You definitely don’t need to step back in the shadows and give me the limelight.  All I want from you is your love.  Your friendship.  Your trust.”

Lisa pulled Carla closer and kissed her again.

“You have all of me,” she promised.

“And you me,” Carla replied.

She kissed her one more time before shifting to capture one nipple and then the other in her mouth.  Lisa relaxed against the mattress and closed her eyes.  Her legs automatically widened, as Carla kissed her way down her body.  She kissed her breasts and along the toned, flat surface of her tummy.  She used her tongue to play with her navel piercing.  She sat back and lifted her legs one at a time, kissing her ankles, her calves and the inside of her knees.

She traced kisses up the inside of her thighs before settling between them.  She looked up at Lisa, whose breathing had already become laboured.

“So beautiful,” she whispered, kissing her centre.  “So perfect.”

She ran her tongue through her silky folds.  She smiled at the way Lisa gasped.  She could still hardly believe she had waited so long in her life before she’d experienced intimacy with a woman.  But she supposed she had been waiting for the right woman, the right person, all this time.

“I still pinch myself sometimes,” she whispered.

The sound of her voice vibrated against Lisa’s clit.

“That you’re mine,” she said.

She began to lathe Lisa’s clit with attention.  Lisa moaned, tangling her hands in Carla’s hair.  Carla felt a thrill go through her, as she pulled.  Her own clit was throbbing, as she offered all her affection to Lisa.

“I’m all yours,” Lisa promised breathlessly.

She cried out when Carla slipped two fingers inside her, not pausing in her licks and kisses.

“Forever,” she said.

“Mmm…” Carla said, her voice vibrating against Lisa’s clit again.  “Forever.”

She sucked her clit into her mouth.  Lisa cried out again as she fell off the edge of oblivion.  Her walls tightened around Carla’s fingers, which had stilled.  Carla continued to lap at her sensitive, swollen bundle of nerves, enjoying the way Lisa writhed and gasped.  It didn’t take long for a second orgasm to tease its way out of the blonde Detective.

When she had settled, Carla eased her fingers out.  She kissed her thighs again and back up her body.  She looked into Lisa’s eyes.  She thought she had the most beautiful eyes she’d ever seen.  She kissed her.  Lisa wrapped her arms and legs around her, tucking her in tightly.

“Forever,” Carla repeated.