Chapter Text
Buck was alone in the apparatus bay, polishing the back of the truck. Hen and Chim were on a med call while the others on the team were spread out across the loft or bunk room, resting during the break between calls. It had been a busy day: no wild calls, but a steady stream of minor fires and accidents, enough to keep them on their toes but not enough to burn off the excess energy running through Buck.
He was concentrating hard, ‘Inordinate Fondness for Beetles’ playing in his earphones just loud enough that he almost missed the hesitant “Hello?” behind him, twisting around quickly while he pulled out his earphones as he faced the source.
She was young, maybe twenty at a rough guess, and Buck couldn’t help but notice she looked exhausted as he took in her tired face, hair pulled back haphazardly, sweats two sizes too big hanging loosely on her hips, and a bundle of squirming blankets held tightly in her arms.
“Hey,” Buck adopted the soothing tone he used on calls, forcibly relaxing his shoulders in an attempt to put her at ease. “Do you need help?”
She glanced away from him quickly, worrying her lip between her teeth. “I need,” she paused, eyes darting back to him briefly before returning to a vacant stare at the truck. “Is this the Safe Surrender?” She finished softly.
“Y-yeah,” Buck felt his heart drop as he carefully took a step closer, schooling his face into a neutral expression. In the eight years he had been at the 118, this was the first time someone had looked for Safe Surrender; he knew the procedure, though, had studied it over and over when he heard there had been one over at 122 during his time at the academy.
“I’m Buck.” He took another step forward, she watched him but did not move. “Can you tell me your name?” She shook her head and eyed him wearily.
“That’s okay, you don’t have to do that right now.” He told her, subtly looking around to see no one else was close enough to notice them, “We can go into the office, somewhere more private, yeah?”
Her nod was minute, but Buck took it as a win and guided her across the apparatus floor towards Bobby’s office. He could see the office was empty through the glass in the door and opened it wide, stepping aside to allow the young woman to enter, closing the door behind him as she stood still in the middle of the room.
“Do you want to take a seat?” Buck gestured to the pair of chairs in front of Bobby's desk, skirting around her to a lower cabinet at the back of the room to retrieve the Safe Surrender kit as she silently lowered herself to sit, shifting the baby in her arms gently into a more comfortable position.
Buck found the kit easily and joined the young woman, settling in the chair beside her and he opened the kit on the edge of the desk. “Are you aware of the process?” Buck asked her gently, she shook her head. He gave her a soft smile. “Okay, well, this is called a Safe Surrender kit. I just have a few questions, it's all confidential, so you don’t need to worry,” he promised as her gaze darted to the door at the mention of questions.
When she didn’t get up to leave, he continued to explain the process, showing her the two bracelets, one for her and one for the baby. He told her that she had fourteen days to reclaim the baby and that the bracelet would help her reconnect with the baby, in case she changed her mind and wanted to reclaim her. He paused as he waited for her to respond or ask any questions but she remained silent, though she studied everything he showed her without reaching out for anything.
The medical questionnaire and the fact sheet he started to explain to her caused her first response, a sharp exhale as she shook her head when he asked if she could begin to fill them out.
“You don’t have to fill the questionnaire yet,” Buck assured her, “it can be voluntarily filled out and returned now, or you can complete it later and mail it in the envelope provided.”
She shook her head again, “No, I don’t want to.” Her voice was raspy, and she sounded scared.
Buck placed the papers back on the desk, a show of understanding. “I’m here to help you, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” he promised, “this is just to make sure you and the baby are safe. To make sure that you get the support you need, regardless of your decision.”
He wouldn’t say she relaxed as he spoke to her, but there was a slight release in the tension of her shoulders. It didn’t last, though, as the baby stirred in her arms and let out a squawk, panic set into the woman's face as tears sprang to her eyes.
“Do you-” Buck blurted out before he could stop himself, “Do you want me to hold her, give you a minute?” he finished, the back of his neck burning as he realised she could have seen it as inappropriate. The woman looked from him to the baby and back again before nodding, tilting her body towards Buck as she offered the baby in her arms to him.
As gently as he could, Buck reached across and accepted the baby from her, making sure to support the baby's head as he cradled her to his chest. He smiled down at her as she snuggled into him, getting his first proper look at her cherubic face, scrunching up in a tiny frown as she settled against him.
He looked back at the woman and noticed the relief wash over her at releasing the baby, her whole body slumping back in the chair as her eyes closed in exhaustion.
They sat in silence for a moment, Buck working up the courage to try mentioning the paperwork they needed to complete, but not wanting to cause the woman any more stress, when he heard the ambulance return to the apparatus bay, signalling the return of Hen and Chim, and with it, the next stage of the process where the paramedics would perform a medical report.
“I should check in with the paramedics,” Buck murmured, eyes on the woman as her eyes snapped open again, “do you want to take the baby while I get them?”
She shook her head sharply, “Keep her, please,” she begged him.
“Okay,” he promised, “okay, I’ll bring her with me, but please, stay here for a minute, I’ll be right back.”
She didn’t respond right away, glancing at the baby for only a second before turning to face the desk again.
Buck rose from his seat, holding the baby to his chest as he promised, “I’ll be right back,” and left the office. He waited until the door had closed before briskly making his way to the ambulance, where Hen and Chimney were beginning their clean-up routine.
The second they noticed him, their laughs died down, and Hen’s jaw dropped as she took in the baby bundled in his arms.
“Buck?” Chimney started before being cut off.
“We have a Safe Surrender,” Buck spoke quickly, not wanting to leave the woman on her own any longer than he had to. “The mother’s in Bobby’s office, I’ve been trying-” he choked, embarrassed by the sudden emotion he felt almost overwhelming him, “I’ve been trying to get her to complete the forms, but she's not, she's not-”
“Buck,” Hen interrupted not unkindly, “it's okay, I’ll come with you, yeah?” He felt relief wash over him now that he had support. “Bobby’s office?” She prompted, and he nodded, looking down at the baby, silent but awake and looking up at him almost in awe.
Together, they made their way to Bobby’s office but as soon as they were close enough, Buck saw the door he was sure he had closed behind him was wide open, the office empty.
*
“You did everything you were supposed to,” Bobby comforted him, once he had joined them in his office and Buck recounted everything that had happened.
“It’s not a regular occurrence,” Chimney chimed in, “but the mother did what she thought was right, she brought the baby somewhere safe and she made sure she wasn’t alone.” He knelt before Buck, checking the baby over while Buck sat in the chair and held her toward him. Buck had tried to hand the baby over, but as soon as she left his arms, she squealed until her tiny face turned red. She was unwrapped from her blanket now, her onesie unbuttoned as Chimney’s gloved hands checked her over before he paused.
“What is it?” Buck asked with a slight alarm.
Chimney looked up at him quickly before he continued his check, “It looks like a surgical scar, right here,” he told him in the same calm tone he reserved for patients on calls, pointing to a slight incision with stitches.
Hen moved over closer to look at the incision, joining Chimney on the floor. Buck looked up in worry, eyes immediately searching for Eddie, who had been leaning against the wall in silence.
“Is she okay?” Eddie asked, meeting Buck's stare.
“It looks well cared for,” Hen confirmed without looking up, “maybe a couple of weeks old? The baby can’t be much more than a month old.” She grimaced as she looked at Bobby, “We need to get her to the hospital, Cap. She looks okay now, but this is a serious incision on a baby so young. I think,” She wet her lips, glancing back at Buck, “I think it's for a heart condition.”
Bobby nodded, looking back over the empty paperwork as if it would provide any more answers. “I’ll radio dispatch, you can take her to the hospital now, and I’ll get DCFS to meet you there.”
He looked over at Buck, “You can go with them,” he said softly, as if it were only the two of them; everyone else continued as if he hadn’t spoken.
“Thanks, Cap,” Buck murmured, looking back at the baby in his arms.
They redressed her and wrapped her back in the blanket. Buck kept hold of her, though, following Hen and Chimney to the ambulance with Eddie close behind him, even though he was staying for the remainder of their shift.
Hen and Chimney left Buck to climb in the back while they got in the front, a mutual understanding that he would be the one to hold her on the way. Eddie trailed behind Buck, helping him up the step to the back of the ambulance with a firm hand on his back.
Their eyes met as Eddie began to close the doors once Buck was situated. It had been a long time since they had needed words to understand each other, a slight nod was all that was needed from each before Eddie firmly closed the doors, a rap on the back of the ambulance, and Hen took off.
The ride to the hospital was quick, less than ten minutes, but it felt like seconds to Buck as he stared down at the baby in his arms. She had settled into sleep again, but it was fitful, her arms and legs moving as if in a dream.
When they arrived, Hen offered to take the baby so Buck could clamber out more easily, but he shook his head, not wanting to disturb the baby any more than he had to. She had had a confusing enough day, he reasoned with himself, he didn’t want to add to it.
Hen and Chimney took charge once they were in the doors, flagging down nurses who guided them to the NICU and waiting rooms and more nurses before finally, a doctor appeared, ready to take the baby to an incubator. Buck had held her the whole time, with minimal fussing from the baby, nothing he couldn’t soothe with a soft, “I got you,” but once a free incubator had been sourced, it was time for him to let her go.
“DCFS are on the way,” a nurse had told him with a smile, “she’ll be okay.” Buck knew she was right, honestly, he did, but it didn’t help the lump in his throat as he handed the baby over, a cry emitting from the blankets that wrapped her tight.
Chimney guided him away with a hand on his shoulder, “The first ones are always tough, Buckaroo.” But this felt different, he thought, this didn’t feel like when they were passing over a patient.
He cleared his throat with a quick, “Yeah, I guess.” Following his team out, back through the sliding doors Bobby had once proclaimed they should never pass.
*
It was on the last call of their shift, only a week later, that Buck was back at the same hospital. The patient had been steady, Hen and Chim fully capable of handling it, but the second he heard which hospital they were bringing him to, Buck had hitched a ride with the ambulance, barely looking at Bobby as he declared he was needed.
Hen had raised an eyebrow when he slid into the passenger seat beside her, but said nothing the whole ride, only maintaining the conversation with Chimney as he rode in the back and monitored the patient.
The ambulance had barely come to a stop when he hopped out, shouting some excuse he could barely remember as he took off in the direction of the NICU. Hoping he could catch a glimpse of the baby, begging that she had already been discharged and found a home.
When he reached the unit, however, he knew immediately that she was still there, her warm brown eyes blinking up at him in her crib. He couldn’t help the grin that took over his face as he stared down at her. There was movement all around them, nurses, doctors and orderlies going about their work, but she was all he could see.
He had expected there to be more resistance when he entered the pediatric ward, but the nurse, Helen, at the desk had remembered him from when he had brought the baby in and had waved off the other nurse who had tried to question him.
He wasn’t sure how long he had been there, watching the baby kick her legs and murmur in contentment when Eddie joined him. They stood together in silence for a few moments, neither wanting to break the moment. When the baby cooed up at him, her tiny fist reaching up, Buck turned to his friend, joy bursting through him as Eddie smiled back hesitantly.
“Shift is over,” he finally spoke, turning back to the baby, “Hen and Chim headed back in the ambulance.” Eddie must have come straight over after shift, not even stopping off at home to drop his gear.
He nodded at Eddie but was stopped from answering when nurse Helen returned, a man at her side carrying a stack of files, his lanyard identifying him as DCFS.
“These are the firefighters who found her,” She introduced them. “This is Colin, he’s Baby Girl Doe’s case worker.”
Colin held out his hand and shook each of their hands with a pleasant smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“What's going to happen to her?” Buck blurted without thinking, Eddie placed a hand on his shoulder, a warm spot of comfort he leaned into.
Neither Colin nor Helen seemed offended, smiles remaining as Helen excused herself to go see another patient.
“Usually, in Safe Surrender Cases, it’s easy enough to locate a family who can take a baby,” Colin told them, “but in this case, there's a complication.”
“Because of a heart condition?” Buck jumped in, his heart sinking as he realised. Eddie's hand was still pressed to his shoulder, his thumb rubbing the back of his neck, and Buck took a deep breath at the comfort it provided.
“Yes,” Colin nodded, his smile gone, “Babies with medical conditions tend to take longer to find placement, the more serious the condition the less likely it becomes. Baby Girl Doe has heart complications, which will require a lot of care and attention on a long-term basis.”
Buck pressed himself closer to the incubator, reaching for her tiny hand as he stared down at her. She gurgled in response, and he smiled despite himself. “She doesn’t look sick.”
“She’s already had one surgery,” Colin continued, “she will likely need more as she grows. She’ll be kept in the hospital for the next week or so for observation but she seems to be recovering nicely.”
“What’ll happen once she's discharged?” Eddie finally spoke, looking from Buck to the baby and back again.
“Honestly? She’ll probably be placed in a group home.”
Buck couldn’t understand, this beautiful little girl with such light surrounding her deserved so much better. She deserved a home and a family who doted on her, who cared and loved for her and watched her grow, but Colin seemed resigned to the fact that she would be placed in a group home and remain there, just another child to be lost in the system.
At the shrill sound of a phone ringing, Buck jumped back from his thoughts, his head snapping to Colin, who winced apologetically and stepped out of the room to take the call, leaving Buck and Eddie with the baby.
“It’s weird to think that in a week I won’t know where she is,” Buck murmured.
Eddie hummed in response, putting his hands in his pockets. “I’ve been looking up Safe Surrender stories,” he spoke softly, meeting Buck's eyes, wanting him to hear every word. “There's precedent, you know, of firefighters who’ve adopted the babies they’ve found.”
“You want to adopt her?” Buck frowned. It didn’t make sense. Eddie hadn’t been the one to find her, Eddie had never talked about having another kid, Eddie would hardly adopt another child on a whim when his son was still halfway across the country in Texas.
Eddie huffed out a small laugh despite himself, “No, Evan , not me.”
“Oh,” Buck finally caught on, “You think I should?”
“I think you want to, or at least,” Eddie hesitated for a moment, but when Buck ducked his head slightly he mirrored him, refusing to break eye contact, “I think you’ve bonded with her, that you want her to have a better life, to be loved and cared for. You can do that for her, Buck.”
And really, if Eddie thought he could do this, then didn’t that open up a whole new world of feelings? Buck knew he had become besotted with the infant, knew she had taken up every thought he had over the past week, and he worried about her, her safety, her comfort, her health. Was she sleeping okay? Hungry? Cold? Scared?
His emotions twisted deep in his stomach as he lay awake at night, concerned only for the baby he had briefly crossed paths with. He knew it was too much, tried to push down his feelings, afraid he would overspill and word vomit to his team.
But throughout it all, Eddie had stood firm by his side, listening to every random thought or observation, following every abrupt change of topic reverting back to the baby Buck had spent less than two hours with.
Eddie thought he could adopt a baby. Not just a baby, not just some hypothetical, in the future ‘sure, maybe someday’ baby, but this baby, this living breathing, beautiful little girl who had warm brown eyes and a tight grip on his finger, this baby. He believed in Buck, he had researched , found precedent and easily voiced his thoughts, as if it was so simple, easy, natural for Buck to just adopt a child.
“You think I could?” he was breathless, desperate for someone - no Eddie - to approve, agree, authorise-
“I know you could, Buck, I’ve seen-” Eddie caught himself, finally breaking eye contact as he tilted his head to the baby. “You’d be great for her, she deserves to have you in her life.”
A sob caught in Buck’s throat, Eddie didn’t even look back at him as he once again brought his hand to the back of Buck’s neck on pure instinct. “I’m here for you, Buck, whatever you decide.”
And Buck believed him, in that moment, with Eddie’s support, Buck knew he could do this, that he could want this. He rested his hand on the edge of the incubator, watching the baby take a deep breath as her eyelids flicked in sleep.
“Okay,” he allowed himself, “Okay, how did they do it? The firefighters?” and the smile that Eddie shot him, well if that made Buck feel warm all over, then it was just because they were hatching a plan for Buck to adopt a child, he told himself.